Zhao Kun looked at the man and woman coming out from the corner and could hardly believe his eyes.
“This is…” It was exactly as the old Taoist had described!
Seeing the look on Zhao Kun’s face, the old Taoist knew the guy was already convinced, but just to be safe, he decided to reinforce it a bit more.
“Immortal, you might think this is just a coincidence this one time, so let’s try it again.”
With that, the old Taoist peered around the corner once more.
“Next up, a pair of middle school students in uniform, walking over while hugging and kissing each other. Three, two, one! Appear!”
No sooner had the old Taoist finished speaking than the two students indeed turned the corner.
“Holy crap!” Zhao Kun’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. This time, he was genuinely dumbfounded.
After swallowing hard, Zhao Kun turned to the old Taoist.
“Immortal, if you still don’t believe me, let’s guess the next one. The next is—”
“Stop, stop, stop. I believe you, I really do.” Zhao Kun quickly interrupted the old Taoist.
“Um, so you’re saying I really am a reincarnated immortal?” Zhao Kun’s little eyes started to sparkle.
“That’s right.” The old Taoist nodded solemnly.
“Then, then which immortal am I reincarnated from?”
“Which immortal?” The old Taoist’s eyes darted around. “Have you never noticed any way in which you’re different from others in your daily life?”
“Different from others?” Zhao Kun frowned and thought for a long time. “Not really.”
“Damn, he’s really got no distinguishing traits. How am I supposed to keep making this up for you, bro?” The old Taoist cursed under his breath.
“That can’t be. Think hard—even the tiniest difference counts.”
Zhao Kun frowned and thought a bit longer.
“If I really have to say something different about me, it’s that I seem to eat and sleep more than others.”
“Oh man, eating and sleeping a lot—isn’t that basically a pig?”
“Huh?” The old Taoist’s eyes lit up. “Got it!”
“Don’t move! Let me get a good look at you!” The old Taoist suddenly acted startled and stared intently at Zhao Kun.
“Oh my, oh my!” The old Taoist suddenly cried out in fake shock.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Why are you yelling?” The outburst made Zhao Kun nervous.
“So that’s it, so that’s it.” The old Taoist put on a look of sudden realization.
“Damn it, stop being so mysterious and just spit it out!”
“Immortal, your past life is incredibly famous. Mention your name, and almost everyone knows it.”
Zhao Kun was thrilled to hear this.
“Haha, really? Then tell me quickly—whose reincarnation am I?”
“You are the Tianpeng Marshal, who commanded the 80,000 naval forces in the heavenly court!”
Pfft!
“Who, who, who? Tianpeng Marshal?” Zhao Kun nearly fell flat on his face.
“You damned old Taoist, are you messing with me?” Zhao Kun got angry.
“Oh my, Tianpeng Marshal, where is this coming from?” The old Taoist put on a fearful expression.
“Damn it. Do you think I haven’t watched Journey to the West? I was just watching it yesterday—the Tianpeng Marshal is Zhu Bajie, the pig! Aren’t you basically calling me a pig?”
“Tianpeng Marshal, that’s not right,” the old Taoist said, shaking his head.
“What’s not right? Damn it, if you can’t give me a good reason, I won’t let you off!”
“Zhu Bajie was just one of your reincarnations in a particular lifetime. It doesn’t mean you’re a pig in every lifetime.”
“Uh… is that so?” Zhao Kun scratched his head.
“Absolutely. Take this lifetime, for example—do you think you’re a pig?”
“Damn it, of course I’m not a pig,” Zhao Kun said, glaring.
“There you go.” The old Taoist thought to himself, You’re indeed not a pig—you’re dumber than one.
“That actually makes some sense,” Zhao Kun said, blinking, his brain struggling to keep up.
“Then, why don’t I have any supernatural powers?” Zhao Kun suddenly remembered a very important question.
“That’s because you, Immortal, haven’t yet awakened the memories of your past life,” the old Taoist said with a serious face.
“How can I awaken them?” Zhao Kun asked urgently.
Damn, if I awaken my powers, who would I be afraid of?
When that happens, first thing I’ll do is take Ling Chuchu by force—no, I’ll take all the beauties for myself, for my exclusive enjoyment.
Wahaha! Just thinking about it made Zhao Kun incredibly excited.
“Hey, I’m asking you—tell me already!” Zhao Kun urged, seeing the old Taoist frowning in silence.
The old Taoist sighed and then shook his head.
“What the hell does that mean?” Zhao Kun was getting anxious.
“Tianpeng Marshal, restoring your powers wouldn’t normally be difficult, but now it seems a bit tricky.”
Zhao Kun was completely dumbfounded. Damn, if he couldn’t restore his powers, what was the point of any of this?
“What do I need to do? Tell me quickly!”
“To be honest with you,” the old Taoist suddenly put on a serious expression, “a nemesis of yours from your past life has also been reincarnated in this lifetime. He’s doing everything he can to stop you from restoring your powers. If he succeeds, it won’t just be a matter of you not regaining your abilities—your life might be in danger too.”
“Holy crap, who is it? I’ll have my dad take him out!” Zhao Kun was now really nervous.
“I don’t know that either, but he’s already made his move and left behind a small clue.”
The old Taoist then leaned close to Zhao Kun’s ear.
“Marshal, if I’m not mistaken, sometime recently, a very strange person should have given you a plant, asking you to harm someone with it and obtain something in return.”
Zhao Kun was startled. “Let me think.”
The old Taoist rolled his eyes. Damn, bro, I’ve spelled it out this clearly, and you still need to think? You really are a pig.
“Ah! I remember!” Zhao Kun looked terrified.
“What do you remember? Tell me quickly!” the old Taoist urged.
“A while ago, there was this really strange person wearing a mask. He gave me a peach blossom and told me to toss it onto a girl named Taotao. As soon as I tossed it, the blossom withered.”
“What? Oh no! It’s over!” The old Taoist stomped his foot in feigned regret.
“What’s over? Explain yourself!” Zhao Kun was scared.
“Oh dear, that person is your nemesis!”
“What!” Zhao Kun was completely stunned.
“If I’m not mistaken, you should have something in your hand that he’ll want you to give to your family. If that happens, your whole family is doomed. How ruthless!”
“Holy crap!” Zhao Kun quickly pulled out Taotao’s phone upon hearing this.
The old Taoist’s eyes widened in fake alarm.
“Marshal, it’s this phone! Don’t move—hand it over quickly. Hurry, or it’ll be too late!” the old Taoist shouted anxiously.
“Huh? Oh, here you go.” Zhao Kun panicked and hurriedly handed over the phone.
The old Taoist stuffed the phone into his pocket. Haha! The auction information was in his hands!
“What do we do now?” Zhao Kun asked anxiously.
The old Taoist knitted his brows tightly.
“Marshal, it’s already too late. I’m not certain if we can succeed, but we have to try.”
“What? It’s too late already? No! You have to save me!” The old Taoist’s words nearly scared Zhao Kun to tears.
“There’s only one way left,” the old Taoist said, as if making a huge decision.
“Marshal, tell me your birth date and time in this lifetime. And remember, there can be no mistakes whatsoever. Otherwise, even the Jade Emperor himself couldn’t save you.”
“My birth details? I don’t even know them.”
Zhao Kun frantically pulled out his phone.
“Mom, what’s my birth date and time?”
“Oh, never mind that, just tell me quickly!”
“Mom, are you absolutely sure? Really sure? Okay, got it.”
After a moment, Zhao Kun relayed the information to the old Taoist.
The old Taoist was inwardly overjoyed. Haha, what an idiot. He fell for it so easily—handing over his birth details to me.
“Old Taoist, what now?”
“Marshal, there’s no time to lose. I’ll go back right away and perform the rituals.”
“Oh, okay. Go quickly, and make sure you do a good job.”
The old Taoist took two steps, then turned back.
“Marshal, this time is extremely dangerous. I’m not certain I can save you. For now, you’ll have to rely mostly on yourself.”
“Rely on me?” Zhao Kun was confused.
“Yes! Marshal, since your past life was Zhu Bajie, your best bet is to find a pigsty to live in. Eat, sleep, and hang out with the pigs every day. If you can stick with it for a week, you’ll awaken Zhu Bajie’s powers from that lifetime. Then, no one in the world will be able to defeat you, and you’ll be safe and worry-free.”
“What? You want me to live with pigs?”
“Oh, Marshal, in an emergency, you have to prioritize. Decide for yourself—do you want to live or save face?”
With that, the old Taoist shook his head and drifted away.
Zhao Kun stood there stunned for a long time. Finally, he gritted his teeth and pulled out his phone.
“Damn it, Gouzi, find me a pigsty to stay in!”
