My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 98

Lin Hai didn’t believe for a second that he could survive an encounter with Hu Lai if Chu Lin’er left.

Damn it, what should he do?

Shoot him like he did with Hu Wei?

No way. Didn’t you see? Even Peng Tao couldn’t hit him at point-blank range.

Hide inside the Moon Lake Sanctuary?

That wouldn’t work either. Damn it, the system just reminded him—his master level was too low, and he could only enter once per day.

Shit! His only option was to ask those goofy Celestial Immortals for help.

Lin Hai opened WeChat. After a moment’s thought, he decided to contact Sun Wukong. After all, he was relatively familiar with the Monkey King.

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage! It’s extremely urgent! Save me!!!

Sun Wukong: Fellow Daoist, what has you so panicked?

Little Confused Immortal: This humble immortal has encountered a powerful demon. I don’t know what to do!

Sun Wukong: Hehe, what’s so difficult about that? Just beat him to death with your staff!

Beat him to death, my foot! Lin Hai felt a black line going down his face. Damn it, if I could beat him, would I be asking you for help?

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, have you forgotten? I told you before, I’m currently in a secret realm, my magical power is sealed, and I’m only as strong as a mortal. I’m simply no match for this demon.

Sun Wukong: That does make things tricky. Tell me about this demon’s characteristics, and let this old Sun see what weaknesses he might have.

Lin Hai hurriedly described Hu Lai’s current state, especially emphasizing the gruesome details about him practicing his arts using human organs.

Sun Wukong: Ah, this isn’t some great demon! It’s clearly just some heretical path practiced by mortals. Easy, easy!

Seeing this, Lin Hai’s heart leapt with joy.

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, how can it be broken?

Sun Wukong: If this old Sun were there, I could dissolve him with a single breath! Hehehehe…

Your sister! Lin Hai felt another black line. You’re NOT here! What’s the point of saying that!

Just then, another message came from Sun Wukong.

Sun Wukong: Dealing with such riff-raff doesn’t require this old Sun to take action personally. It would be beneath me! Beneath me!

Lin Hai was close to tears. Damn it, Great Sage, can’t you say something useful? The more urgent this is, why are you avoiding the main point?

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, time is tight! What is the actual good strategy?

Sun Wukong: Go ask the God of Thunder for a Lightning Summoning Talisman. This sort of scum fears heavenly lightning the most!

Finally, something useful!

Little Confused Immortal: Thank you, Great Sage!

Lin Hai quickly opened the Celestial Trade Group chat.

Little Confused Immortal: @God of Thunder, Fellow Daoist, I urgently request one Lightning Summoning Talisman!

God of Thunder: 500 Merit Points.

Uh…

Damn it. Lin Hai just remembered—he was as poor as a ghost, with only 100 Merit Points to his name.

Screw it, I’ll agree first and see if I can get it on credit later!

Little Confused Immortal: Deal!

Ding Dong!

‘God of Thunder’ requests to add you as a friend!

Accept!

Ding Dong!

Your number of friends has reached the upper limit. Unable to add.

Shit! Lin Hai stamped his foot in anger. How could he have forgotten about this? What should he do now?

Just then, the God of Thunder @’ed him in the group.

God of Thunder: @Little Confused Immortal, Fellow Daoist, your friend list is full. You need to expand your friend capacity, otherwise I can’t add you.

Nani? You can expand it?

Lin Hai was thrilled.

Little Confused Immortal: How do I expand it?

God of Thunder: You don’t know? (Followed by a surprised emoji)

Lin Hai rolled his eyes. Isn’t that obvious? If I knew, would I be asking you? Honestly, these Celestial goofballs, why were they all so long-winded?

Little Confused Immortal: This humble immortal rarely uses WeChat, so I truly don’t know.

God of Thunder: Click the icon in the lower right corner of your WeChat contacts list, the one with two little figures. That’s the expansion option.

Lin Hai quickly followed the God of Thunder’s instructions and found the little figures icon.

Please select expansion quantity.

1 slot!

Insufficient Merit Points. Expansion failed!

What the…? What was going on?

Lin Hai looked at the prompt. Your sister!

Expanding by one friend slot cost 100,000 Merit Points.

What a rip-off!

Now Lin Hai was screwed.

Little Confused Immortal: @God of Thunder, I don’t have enough Merit Points to expand.

God of Thunder: Then there’s no way. I can’t very well spend 100,000 Merit Points to help you expand a friend slot just to earn 500, can I?

What should he do? Lin Hai was genuinely getting desperate.

Sun Wukong: @God of Thunder, send that Lightning Summoning Talisman to this old Sun! I’ll forward it to my brother!

Seeing this, Lin Hai’s eyes lit up.

Hell yeah, that’s right! He could have Sun Wukong forward it!

Little Confused Immortal: @God of Thunder, Yes, yes! Just send it to the Great Sage.

God of Thunder: @Sun Wukong, Um, Great Sage… this humble deity is running a small business here. I have an 80-year-old mother at home and a baby crying for food… they’re all waiting for me to earn money to eat…

Pfft! Lin Hai almost spat. Damn, this God of Thunder is such a bullshitter. With a line like that, he must have spent some time in the mortal realm.

Sun Wukong: @God of Thunder, Hey! You insignificant little deity! Are you afraid this old Sun will welch on the debt?!

God of Thunder: It’s just… Great Sage… the economy isn’t great… it’s really hard to make money!

Sun Wukong: You’re infuriating this old Sun! You’re just asking for a beating! The points are transferred to you! Send the item! Hurry up, hurry up!

God of Thunder: @Sun Wukong, Thank you, Great Sage! Thank you, Great Sage!

The God of Thunder was overwhelmed by the favor.

Holy crap! Lin Hai figured this monkey probably never paid for anything he bought before, otherwise the God of Thunder wouldn’t be this scared.

Ding Dong!

Sun Wukong has sent you a Lightning Summoning Talisman.

Yes! Lin Hai’s heart surged with joy!

You have transferred 100 Merit Points to Sun Wukong.

Little Confused Immortal: Great Sage, words cannot express my gratitude. This humble immortal only has 100 Merit Points left. I will repay the rest another day.

Sun Wukong: Brother, where are these words coming from? Last time, you gave this old Sun those cigarettes and never asked for a single Merit Point. This old Sun isn’t an ungrateful person. Don’t mention the Merit Points again!

Reading this, Lin Hai felt incredibly pleased.

Damn, Sun Wukong is really something else. A reliable guy you can count on. See, he wouldn’t even let Lin Hai bring up repaying the money.

Sun Wukong: Brother, I’ll chat with you another day. This old Sun is going to pay a visit to the God of Thunder’s place first. Hehe, daring to take 500 Merit Points from this old Sun? I’ll steal back ten times that amount! This old Sun is off!

Pfft!

Lin Hai almost laughed out loud!

Damn, this monkey is too ruthless!

Lin Hai began mourning for the God of Thunder. This was a losing business deal, and a massive loss at that.

Now that he had the Lightning Summoning Talisman, Lin Hai felt confident.

He clicked ‘Extract’. A cyan-blue talisman appeared in his palm.

Lin Hai smirked coldly and looked up.

Just in time, he saw Chu Lin’er break away from Boss Hu and float towards him.

“Time’s up, I’m leaving first!” Chu Lin’er tossed out the sentence, brushing right past Lin Hai.

What the hell! Lin Hai was furious.

Damn, she really just left without a second thought, not caring if I live or die!

This damn girl is so heartless! The first thing I’m doing when I get back is deleting your Gomoku game!

Boss Hu was also startled to see Chu Lin’er leave.

However, he also knew there was no way he could stop her.

But with Chu Lin’er gone, Lin Hai was like a catch in a net.

“Hehehe…” Boss Hu chuckled sinisterly as he walked towards Lin Hai.

Lin Hai quickly tightened his grip on the Lightning Summoning Talisman. Even though Sun Wukong said this thing was most effective against scum like him, Lin Hai had never used it before and felt indescribably nervous.

Just as he was about to recite the activation spell, Chu Lin’er suddenly floated back.

Huh? Lin Hai’s eyes lit up.

Damn, it seems this girl has a little bit of a conscience after all! She couldn’t bear to leave me!

Boss Hu, seeing Chu Lin’er return, also paused, stopping where he was to watch what would happen.

“Haha, I knew it! You couldn’t bear to—”

“Give me back my phone.” Chu Lin’er stretched out her hand, cutting Lin Hai off mid-sentence.

Uh… Your sister!

Lin Hai’s following words got stuck in his throat.

Chu Lin’er directly reached into Lin Hai’s pocket and pulled out her phone.

Then, she floated away without even looking back. So decisive!

Damn you! I curse your boobs to get smaller and smaller!

Lin Hai was livid.

“Hehehe…” Seeing Chu Lin’er leave again, Boss Hu let out a dark, sinister laugh.

“Lin Hai, let’s see who can save you now!”

Lin Hai stared fixedly at Boss Hu, his entire body tense with nervousness, his palm sweating profusely around the talisman.

Damn it, life or death hinges on this one shot!