Lin Hai looked at the message Tieguai Li had sent, and he was so angry he wished he could reach through the screen, grab that crippled leg of his, and give it a few hard kicks.
This is seriously messed up. Why didn’t you say so earlier? The Jade Pool is where the fairies take their baths!
Now, asking the fairies for their bathwater publicly in the group chat? Won’t those goofy, ridiculous gods make fun of me to death?
Great. My reputation in the group is completely ruined. I’m probably right up there with Zhu Bajie and Mo Liqing now.
Just then, someone else tagged him.
Lin Hai checked—it was the Jade Pool Fairy.
Jade Pool Fairy: @Little Confused Immortal, Fellow cultivator, please don’t be so boring! (followed by a disdainful emoji)
Damn. He had to fix this fast. Time to tell the truth.
Little Confused Immortal: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, don’t misunderstand. I have a friend who’s caught in a Peach Blossom Calamity, and he urgently needs water from the Jade Pool to break the curse. So I’m asking for one scoop of Jade Pool water. Please grant my request.
Before the Jade Pool Fairy could even answer, those goofballs started chiming in again. But the content of their messages made Lin Hai want to slap each of them twice across the face.
Mo Liqing: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, don’t misunderstand. I have a friend who’s caught in a Peach Blossom Calamity, and he urgently needs water from the Jade Pool to break the curse. So I’m asking for one scoop of Jade Pool water. Please grant my request.
Lei Shen (Thunder God): @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, don’t misunderstand. I have a friend who’s caught in a Peach Blossom Calamity, and he urgently needs water from the Jade Pool to break the curse. So I’m asking for one scoop of Jade Pool water. Please grant my request.
Zhu Bajie: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, don’t misunderstand. I have a friend who’s caught in a Peach Blossom Calamity, and he urgently needs water from the Jade Pool to break the curse. So I’m asking for one scoop of Jade Pool water. Please grant my request.
…
Damn it. Lin Hai was furious. These shameless idiots were directly copying his message!
Aren’t they just making things worse?
Little Confused Immortal: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, everything I said is true! (followed by a teary-eyed emoji)
But as soon as he sent it, these guys copied him again.
Zhu Bajie: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, everything I said is true! (followed by a teary-eyed emoji)
Erlang Shen: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, everything I said is true! (followed by a teary-eyed emoji)
Taibai Jinxing (Venus): @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, everything I said is true! (followed by a teary-eyed emoji)
…
Pfft! Oh, for the love of—!
Lin Hai was going crazy!
It was one thing for goofballs like Zhu Bajie and Mo Liqing to cause trouble, but Taibai Jinxing? You’re already ancient! Why are you getting involved?
Lin Hai had no idea what to do now.
Just then, the Jade Pool Fairy spoke again.
Jade Pool Fairy: @Little Confused Immortal, I don’t know if you’re messing around or telling the truth. Here’s the deal: use merit points to buy it. If you are just messing around, I believe the number of merit points I ask for will make you wince so hard that the mere mention of the Jade Pool will make you tremble.
Oh, curse all you idiots!
Lin Hai was beyond frustrated.
Damn it. He could have just asked for it, but thanks to these goofballs causing chaos, now he had to use merit points to buy it.
And from the sound of the Jade Pool Fairy’s tone, the number of merit points was absolutely ridiculously high.
But he didn’t have a single merit point left! What was he supposed to do?
Little Confused Immortal: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, can I trade something instead?
The only thing Lin Hai could think of was trading items.
Jade Pool Fairy: That’s fine.
Lin Hai breathed a sigh of relief. As long as he could trade something.
Little Confused Immortal: @Jade Pool Fairy, Fairy, could the Great Sage help pass it along? I’ve reached my friend limit.
He waited a moment, and then the Jade Pool Fairy replied. But when Lin Hai read it, his heart sank.
Jade Pool Fairy: I don’t have anyone’s WeChat except Old Lord Taishang’s. If you want it, just add me as a friend. I don’t add anyone else.
Oh wow, so stubborn. This is really stressing me out.
Ding-dong!
Just as he was thinking about what to do, Lin Hai suddenly received a friend request.
“Add your sister! I told you, I’ve reached my limit,” Lin Hai grumbled, casually opening it to take a look.
An avatar of a big, bald head—Lin Hai recognized it immediately.
Old Man of Longevity, the Antarctic Celestial Lord!
Your friend limit has been reached. Unable to add.
Lin Hai sighed and was about to close WeChat.
Ding-dong!
Another notification sound.
The Antarctic Celestial Lord has expanded your friend limit by one slot. Cost: 100,000 merit points.
Wait, what?! Lin Hai’s eyes went wide.
Did the Antarctic Celestial Lord lose his mind? Spending that much just to expand his friend limit?
What the heck was going on?
Lin Hai was completely dumbfounded.
…
Ah, forget it. Now that he had space, he’d use it first.
Lin Hai immediately added the Jade Pool Fairy as a friend.
The request was approved instantly, and Lin Hai’s friend list now included a stunningly beautiful fairy avatar.
“Haha, awesome!” Lin Hai was thrilled.
Ding-dong!
Another message sound.
Lin Hai opened it.
The Antarctic Celestial Lord has requested to add you as a friend.
Your friend limit has been reached. Unable to add.
Uh… Lin Hai scratched his head, feeling a bit awkward.
Just then, the Antarctic Celestial Lord tagged Lin Hai directly in the group.
Antarctic Celestial Lord: @Little Confused Immortal (followed by a string of crying emojis)
Antarctic Celestial Lord: @Little Confused Immortal, Fellow cultivator, that’s not how you play! (followed by an emoji of a wronged, tearful face)
Antarctic Celestial Lord: @Little Confused Immortal, Fellow cultivator, that’s really not fair.
Antarctic Celestial Lord: @Little Confused Immortal, Fellow cultivator…
Lin Hai checked—holy crap, it was all the Antarctic Celestial Lord tagging him.
Damn. Forget it for now.
Feeling a little guilty, Lin Hai closed the group chat.
Then, he opened the dialog with the Jade Pool Fairy.
Little Confused Immortal: Fairy, I really do need the Jade Pool water.
Jade Pool Fairy: Mm, 100,000 merit points. Show me your sincerity.
Wow, that’s harsh!
Little Confused Immortal: Fairy, I’d like to trade an item.
Jade Pool Fairy: Oh? Alright, what are you trading?
Damn, what do I trade? What do I trade?
Lin Hai started getting anxious again.
Carrots were definitely out. Cigarettes were no good either—someone as gorgeous as the Jade Pool Fairy wouldn’t go around smoking a cigarette every day. It would ruin her image.
Lin Hai walked out of his bedroom and started searching everywhere for something to trade.
“Hmm?” On the living room sofa, a box caught Lin Hai’s eye.
He walked over quickly.
“Hydrating mask? Haha, this is it!” Lin Hai was suddenly overjoyed.
Damn, how many women don’t use face masks? This must be Yunyun’s that she left behind. If I send this to the Jade Pool Fairy, she’s bound to love it.
Lin Hai opened WeChat, scanned the mask, and it vanished into thin air.
You sent a Pretty Me-brand hydrating mask to the Jade Pool Fairy.
“Hydrating mask? What’s that?” The Jade Pool Fairy quickly replied.
Little Confused Immortal: Fairy, you might not know, but this is something this little immortal found in a secret realm. It has an incredibly miraculous effect on a woman’s facial skin. It’s a holy treasure for preserving beauty and nourishing the complexion. Extremely precious.
Lin Hai spun a big story and then explained how to use the mask to the Jade Pool Fairy.
Jade Pool Fairy: Is it really that miraculous? If so, I’ll try it tonight.
Ding-dong!
The Jade Pool Fairy has sent you one scoop of Jade Pool water.
Jade Pool Fairy: Since you’re willing to trade a treasure for it, it seems you’re different from those boring people. You really need the Jade Pool water to save someone. So here, I’ll send it to you first.
Lin Hai was overjoyed.
Little Confused Immortal: Thank you, Fairy!
Looking at the scoop of Jade Pool water in his Qiankun bag, Lin Hai finally felt relieved.
First thing tomorrow morning, he’d go find Hou Xianpin and break that Peach Blossom Calamity for him!
