Lin Hai had just returned to the villa when Ah Hua, covered in wounds, came running over.
“Holy crap, did you get into a fight with another dog over a female?” Lin Hai was startled.
Ah Hua shot Lin Hai a resentful look and said with a sob in his voice, “Dad, stop making sarcastic comments. It’s all because you peeked at that female ghost and then ran off, leaving her to take her anger out on me. Look what she did to me—I’m not even handsome anymore!”
Pfft!
What does he mean, ‘peeked’? She was the one who ran out naked!
But thinking about Chu Lin’er’s furious expression, Lin Hai felt a twinge of fear.
Whatever. As long as he had the peachwood sword, she couldn’t lay a hand on him.
“Lin Hai, you little thief!” The moment he stepped inside, Chu Lin’er’s angry voice rang out.
“Hey, what’s all the shouting about? You were the one who ran into my room naked, and now you’re blaming me for looking?” Lin Hai replied with an air of arrogance.
“You… you…” Chu Lin’er’s chest heaved with rage.
“What about me? Not happy about it? Come on then, hit me if you dare! Right here, go ahead! Think you can reach me?” Lin Hai smugly patted his chest.
Thud! No sooner had he finished speaking than a kick landed on his chest, sending him flying into the wall.
“Holy crap! What’s going on?” Lin Hai was utterly confused.
Damn it, he had the peachwood sword! Shouldn’t Chu Lin’er have been unable to touch him?
Wait, why didn’t the peachwood sword emit that white light?
Suddenly, Lin Hai remembered.
Crap! The peachwood sword had been tainted by Hu Wei! How could he have forgotten that?
“You told me to hit you, right? Today, this princess is going to beat you into a paper cutout!” Chu Lin’er launched a series of attacks, pummeling Lin Hai relentlessly.
Covering his head, Lin Hai felt utterly miserable.
Damn it, now he finally understood what it meant to “ask for trouble.”
Why did he have to provoke this lady?
“Hu Wei, damn you to hell!!!”
Remembering that this beating was all because Hu Wei had tainted his peachwood sword, preventing him from avoiding it, Lin Hai let out a furious curse, filled with frustration.
Thud! After beating him for a while longer, Chu Lin’er kicked Lin Hai into a corner, where he collided with Ah Hua.
“You two, man and dog, stay right there and reflect on your actions!” Having finally vented her anger, Chu Lin’er left with those words.
Crouched in the corner, Lin Hai and Ah Hua stared at each other, both looking utterly miserable.
“Dad, based on my extensive experience with female dogs, I have a suggestion for you. Find an opportunity to ‘take care’ of her. Once she’s your woman, she won’t dare act so cocky anymore.”
“Take care of your sister!” Lin Hai kicked the unreliable mutt aside.
Crap. Living in the same house as this violent female ghost without any means of self-defense was a terrible idea.
After some thought, Lin Hai opened WeChat and contacted Celestial Master Zhang.
Little Confused Immortal: Celestial Master Zhang, my peachwood sword has been tainted. What should I do?
Celestial Master Zhang replied quickly.
Celestial Master Zhang: What tainted it?
Little Confused Immortal: The first mouthful of saliva from a vengeful ghost.
Celestial Master Zhang: That’s easy to fix. Just wash it with dragon’s saliva.
Little Confused Immortal: Where can I find dragon’s saliva?
Celestial Master Zhang: Ask the Dragon King (followed by a strange emoji).
Little Confused Immortal: Doesn’t this peachwood sword come with a warranty? (followed by a teary-eyed emoji).
And just like that, Celestial Master Zhang ignored him.
Damn it, you old fool!
Lin Hai raised a middle finger.
He happened to have the East Sea Dragon King in his contacts. Maybe he could ask him for some dragon’s saliva.
Little Confused Immortal: Dragon King, could I have some dragon’s saliva? Thank you, thank you! (followed by a kneeling emoji).
East Sea Dragon King: 1000 merit points per tael, no bargaining!
Lin Hai rolled his eyes. Damn it, he didn’t have 1000 merit points—he didn’t have a single one left!
LLittle Confused Immortal: Can I owe you for now? (followed by a pitiful emoji).
East Sea Dragon King: I’m busy. If you’re not buying, don’t bother me.
Pfft!
Damn it! Lin Hai cursed inwardly.
Seriously, all I’m asking for is some spit! Is it that big of a deal? If it wasn’t useful, I wouldn’t even want it for free. I’d find it disgusting anyway!
Lin Hai thought for a moment, and suddenly, an idea struck him.
Crap! You think you’re the only one with dragon’s saliva? Damn it, I’ll go ask Little Nezha!
Little Nezha was the type to slaughter dragons without a second thought. Getting some dragon’s saliva should be a piece of cake for him!
Thinking of Nezha reminded Lin Hai of the bellyband that had saved Liu Xinyue’s life.
He had promised to thank Little Nezha, and Lin Hai felt he shouldn’t break his word.
Leaving the villa, Lin Hai walked while pondering what gift to give Nezha.
Carrots? Crap, that was clearly inappropriate.
Mentioning carrots reminded Lin Hua that he still owed Golden Flower Boy a carrot. He had promised to give it to him after curing Liu Shan.
What about cigarettes for Little Nezha?
No way!
Lin Hai imagined the image of Little Nezha, a cute young boy, smoking a cigarette, and immediately shook his head.
Damn it, corrupting a child? The Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King would probably descend to hunt him down!
What on earth should he give him?
As Lin Hai walked, he glanced at the shops along the street.
“Huh? ‘One Piece’ manga?” Lin Hai suddenly noticed a book stall.
Crap, don’t kids love manga?
Lin Hai immediately had an idea. He bought all 30 volumes of “One Piece.”
Returning to the villa, Lin Hai sent a message to Nezha.
Little Confused ImmortalLittle Confused Immortal: Are you there?
Huh? No response?
Little Confused Immortal: Where are you? Don’t tell me you’re off dating someone? (followed by a mischievous smiley).
This time, Nezha replied quickly.
Nezha: Don’t talk nonsense. I’m in class at Little Immortals Academy.
Pfft!
Class? And it’s called Little Immortals Academy?
Lin Hai found the idea absurd.
Little Confused Immortal: What class are you taking?
Nezha: Studying Lao Jun’s “Tao Te Ching.” It’s so boring. (followed by a crying emoji).
“Hahaha…” Lin Hai couldn’t help but laugh.
The thought of Little Nezha, so lively and energetic, sitting in a classroom, shaking his head and reciting the “Tao Te Ching,” seemed incredibly amusing.
Little Confused Immortal: I’m sending you something good.
You sent Nezha the first volume of the manga “One Piece.”
Nezha: “One Piece”? What’s that? I’ve never heard of it during my dragon-slaying days.
Lin Hai broke out in a cold sweat.
Damn it, just because it has the word “sea” in it doesn’t mean it’s related to your dragon-slaying adventures!
Little Confused Immortal: Take a look and you’ll understand.
After a while.
Nezha: Thank you, fellow Daoist! I love this book!
Seeing this, Lin Hai knew the timing was right.
Little Confused Immortal: So, Third Prince, I have a small favor to ask.
Nezha: What is it? Go ahead!
Whoa, judging by the tone, this shouldn’t be a problem.
Little Confused Immortal: I need some dragon’s saliva, but I don’t have a single merit point left. Do you think…
Nezha: Hold on. The Tenth Prince of the West Sea Dragon Palace is in my class.
Lin Hai was shocked. Holy crap, was Little Nezha going to slaughter the Tenth Prince right then and there?
If that happened, even if the West Sea Dragon King couldn’t touch Nezha, he’d definitely come after Lin Hai!
Even though Lin Hai was in the mortal realm, who knew if these immortals had ways to kill someone from thousands of miles away?
Just as he was about to remind Nezha to be careful, his WeChat chimed.
He opened it.
Nezha sent you a bucket of dragon’s saliva.
Nezha: See if that’s enough. If not, I’ll go give him a couple more slaps to make him spit out more.
Little Confused Immortal: It’s enough, it’s enough!
Damn it, this Little Nezha is practically the ultimate schoolyard bully, getting things by slapping people around!
Just as he was about to retrieve the dragon’s saliva, Ah Hua ran over.
“Dad, Dad, come quick and look at the TV!”
“Look at the TV?” Lin Hai walked into the living room, took one look, and froze.
