Gu Wan’er was in a great mood right now, sitting at Yu Xiaoduo’s computer watching a drama—a proper, old-school period romance series, no less. A small bowl of sunflower seeds sat on the desk beside her.
Her phone rang. She glanced over—it was Fatty.
“Hello?”
“Bro Yu, what are you up to? You promised to help me rank up today. Can’t you spare me one day out of the week?” Fatty’s voice dripped with grievance, like a wronged little wife.
Gu Wan’er was speechless. Poor Zhao Liang. His bro was busy dressing up as a woman and messing with him. Yu Xiaoduo was absolutely evil.
“Hurry up and get on. You jungle, I mid. Let’s go, let’s go!” And with that, Zhao Liang hung up.
Gu Wan’er let out a soft sigh. League of Legends—she used to play back in high school. She wasn’t a pro by any means, but she wasn’t bad either. She’d made it to Gold. These guys probably hovered around that level too.
She opened WeGame, and it automatically logged into Yu Xiaoduo’s account. Saved her the trouble of asking for the password.
The moment she came online, someone invited her to a party. No prizes for guessing who.
“Bro Yu, about what I mentioned the other day—have you written that proposal yet?” Zhao Liang asked, full of anticipation.
Gu Wan’er was confused. “What proposal?”
“Bro Yu, you’re off enjoying your own happiness, and you’ve completely forgotten about your bro’s love life! And after all those goodies I sent you.”
“What goodies?”
“Still playing dumb? Fifty gigabytes of seeds. Could fill your whole hard drive.”
Gu Wan’er couldn’t believe it. These two perverts were made for each other. Fifty gigs, huh? Let me find which folder Yu Xiaoduo hid them in—I’m deleting every last one. This stuff is poison.
“Ahem, ahem. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about your happiness.”
“That’s more like it. She takes evening walks every weekend. Got any game plan?”
Gu Wan’er had to read between the lines here. So Fatty wanted Yu Xiaoduo to help him chase a girl. But last time she helped with a blind date, it was a disaster. Well, that was then—she had no experience. This time, she wouldn’t mess up.
“Alright, let me think.”
“I’ll start the match, then.”
As soon as the game loaded, Gu Wan’er was lost. So many new champions! And where did the rune pages go? She couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
“Bro Yu, pick your champ!”
Gu Wan’er was stressing out. She quickly grabbed a familiar one—Master Yi—and locked in jungle.
Zhao Liang saw Bro Yu pick Master Yi jungle and didn’t question it. Any champ was strong in Bro Yu’s hands.
“Bro Yu, what’s the deal with this Comet Master Yi build?”
Gu Wan’er had just randomly clicked through everything without reading. “Nothing special.”
Zhao Liang didn’t pry—Bro Yu had his own strategies. But his teammates started spamming question marks. Was this guy about to start trolling?
As soon as the game started, Gu Wan’er was lost again. What were all these items? She had no clue and just bought whatever the recommended tab showed.
Whoa, there’s a crab now? And that shield is thick. She just finished killing it when some giant bug thing popped out of the Rift Herald pit. Did they add new jungle camps too? Might as well try fighting it.
Zhao Liang saw Bro Yu taking Rift Herald at level three. Nice.
But wait—why wasn’t Bro Yu hitting the Herald’s back? Oh no, he died!
The screen went grey, and question marks flooded Master Yi’s corpse. Gu Wan’er was mortified. So embarrassing.
Even the enemy team spammed “LOL” in all-chat.
“Bro Yu, is this another new strat? Confusing the enemy?”
Gu Wan’er coughed in fake confidence. “Making them underestimate me.”
Zhao Liang decided to trust Bro Yu for now.
After respawning, she didn’t see any good gank opportunities, so she decided to invade the enemy jungle.
“Bro Yu, their mid is rotating bot—get out!”
Gu Wan’er had just walked near the dragon pit when the enemy support, Thresh, jumped over the wall. She stared in disbelief. Since when could Thresh do that?!
First blood went straight to the enemy Ahri mid. Zhao Liang was in shambles: “Bro Yu, are you trolling me?”
“A bit rusty. It’s fine, it’s fine.”
Soon enough, Gu Wan’er noticed something off. Why were the enemy rotations so fast? This didn’t feel like a Gold-tier game at all.
“Bro Yu, what are you even building? I swear, Bro, did President Gu drain all your energy? Your brain’s not working anymore.”
Gu Wan’er felt so humiliated. Playing like this and getting roasted by Fatty on top of it.
“Relax. Don’t rush.”
“Bro Yu, share the carry, man.”
Gu Wan’er: “…”
Pretty soon, her teammates had had enough and started AFKing. Gu Wan’er’s score was now 0/11/2.
One teammate went off in chat: “This guy’s obviously trolling! Look at his past games—he carried every single one. Now he’s playing like garbage. Reported.”
Gu Wan’er was mortified. Zhao Liang started getting suspicious: “Bro Yu, are you even playing? Or did you let President Gu take over?”
Gu Wan’er smiled helplessly. Fatty, you actually hit the nail on the head.
“I promise I’ll play seriously next game.”
After that disaster ended, Gu Wan’er quickly checked what rank Yu Xiaoduo was. Turns out he was Master tier. Even Fatty was Master. No wonder it felt like they were playing against pros.
Looks like Gu Wan’er needed to bring out her real skills. She couldn’t let Yu Xiaoduo’s reputation go down the drain on her watch.
Second game: Gu Wan’er picked her signature champion, Nocturne. She used the recommended rune page and instantly felt invincible.
Twenty minutes later, her score was a devastating 1/14/3.
Zhao Liang didn’t say a word. He just sent a video call request. Gu Wan’er reluctantly answered.
“Are you at home?” Zhao Liang asked, puzzled.
“Yeah.”
“President Gu, come out. I know you’re there.”
Gu Wan’er: “…”
“I’m at home. What President Gu?”
“No way! Unless you’re deliberately trolling me. Bro Yu, ever since you got a girlfriend like President Gu, you’ve gotten cocky. You don’t care about your bros anymore.”
Gu Wan’er was caught between laughter and tears. “I really don’t.”
“One more game. No trolling.”
Gu Wan’er refused to give up. This time, she brought out her best champion—Lee Sin.
Zhao Liang saw Bro Yu pull off a smooth Ward Hop + Insec Kick and thought, Finally, he’s playing for real. But then he watched Bro Yu kick the enemy’s tankiest champion—Wukong—straight into his own team. Zhao Liang’s face went dark. Wukong ulted. Their Yasuo followed up with a “Ali-a-tou! Sorye ge ton!” Face the wind!
Question marks flooded Lee Sin’s corpse. Gu Wan’er was devastated. She was supposed to kick their ADC! How did she grab the wrong target?!
In Zhao Liang’s mind, this was deliberate. Bro Yu was definitely messing with him on purpose.
“Bro Yu, what did I ever do to you? Why are you getting revenge on me like this?”
“Fatty, my hand slipped.”
“Sigh. Figures. With a goddess like President Gu as your girlfriend, it’s not just your legs that go weak—your hands shake too. Forget it. I’ll go play by myself. A single dog like me isn’t worthy of playing with you.” And with that, Zhao Liang hung up.
Gu Wan’er held her forehead. I really wasn’t trolling you on purpose! The opponents are just too strong! I’m just a Gold player—I can’t keep up with this rank!
Oh, what’s this Ultra Rapid Fire mode? Let’s try one round.
But the moment she started a game, she felt invincible again, racking up kill after kill. Before she could even finish, she got kicked out of the game by the system. Banned for a whole year!!!
