“It’s all taken care of now. How could I let Yun’er be bullied out there? I’d break their legs!”
Gu Wan’er let out a sigh of relief. “Yu Xiaoduo, thank you.”
“Oh, come on, that’s so formal. You’re half my woman, so isn’t Yun’er like half my sister?” Yu Xiaoduo joked.
Gu Wan’er smiled helplessly. “Did you all celebrate tonight?”
“Yeah, we had hot pot, sang, danced… they were all really happy, and I’m happy for you too.”
Gu Wan’er looked up at the full moon in the dark sky, a joyful curve appearing at the corners of her mouth. “As long as they’re happy.”
“Actually, it would’ve been perfect if you were there today. I really envy you guys.” Yu Xiaoduo also looked up at the full moon, feeling touched.
“That doesn’t sound like you, Yu Xiaoduo.”
Yu Xiaoduo chuckled and said nothing more. The two of them gazed at the starry sky together in silence.
Until Gu Yun’er stood at the door shouting for her sister.
“Yun’er’s calling you,” Gu Wan’er said lightly.
“Yeah, I’ll hang up now. Don’t watch too much stuff at night—it’s bad for your health.”
Gu Wan’er: “…”
What a great atmosphere, and you just had to go and ruin it with one sentence. Would it kill you to keep your mouth shut?
The arrival of the two of them had dampened the original mood quite a bit, and Yu Xiaoduo’s hope of watching more dancing was now dashed.
When it was almost time for bed, Gu Yun’er suddenly suggested, “Sis, why don’t we all sleep together tonight and chat?”
Yu Xiaoduo nearly spun Yun’er around in circles—what a good sister I have! Your suggestion is absolutely brilliant!
“This…” Yu Xiaoduo started putting on an act. If Gu Wan’er had seen it, she’d have beaten him to death for sure—taking such a big advantage and still looking reluctant.
“See, there you go again. It’s been so long since we all slept together.” Xiao Luan agreed without hesitation.
Yu Xiaoduo thought to himself, God above, I didn’t want this either—they’re the ones dragging me into it!
God above: I’m not taking the blame for this one.
” Sister Xiao, my sister gives great massages—it feels amazing,” Gu Yun’er whispered secretly. Good things must be shared.
“I tried it last night. If your sister were a man, she’d probably have killed it out there.”
” Hehehe~”
Yu Xiaoduo, standing not far away, didn’t hear any of this. Whether it was from excitement or nerves, his expression was shifting unpredictably.
In the bedroom, three girls lay together, and Yu Xiaoduo was in the center spot again, feeling completely flanked.
“Sister Xiao, do you want to go first or should I?” Gu Yun’er was still being polite.
“Yun’er, you go first.”
“Then I’ll go, and Sister Xiao can go after.”
“Mm.”
Yu Xiaoduo looked completely bewildered, having no idea what they were talking about. What did “who goes first, who goes after” mean? I don’t understand!
“Sis, thanks for your hard work.” After saying that, she turned her back just like before.
Yu Xiaoduo understood now—wasn’t this going to be the death of him? Don’t mess around! What if Gu Wan’er comes later and she doesn’t know how to do it? Then the truth would come out, and Gu Wan’er would hack him to death with a knife!
That night, Comrade Yu Xiaoduo had a huge harvest—he made Yun’er and Xiao Luan all comfortable and relaxed before finally falling asleep himself.
It started out wonderful, but little did he expect the nightmare was just beginning.
In the dream, Gu Wan’er, Gu Yun’er, and Xiao Luan were each holding forty-meter-long machetes. No matter how he ran, he couldn’t escape the forty-meter range. He watched the cold gleam fall toward his head, and everything went black.
Thought that was the end? Nope—he found himself in the underworld, with Black and White Impermanence flanking him. So Yu Xiaoduo really did go to hell after all. What a sin.
Soon a sign caught Yu Xiaoduo’s eye: Underworld Affairs Office.
Since when was the underworld so down-to-earth?
But when he saw the judge sitting high above, Yu Xiaoduo’s soul nearly scattered in fright—it was Sister Bai! What the hell!
“What business are you here for?”
Sister Bai’s cold, icy voice made Yu Xiaoduo’s scalp tingle. He quickly said, “Reincarnation.”
“You look a bit familiar.”
Yu Xiaoduo broke out in cold sweat, not daring to speak, head lowered.
“How did you die?”
“Hacked to death.” Yu Xiaoduo knew the truth would come out eventually—he just didn’t expect such a miserable end.
Judge Bai Ji typed on the keyboard and asked coldly, “Choose your birthplace.”
“Can I choose another planet?” Yu Xiaoduo felt he’d be hunted down—the farther he could run, the better.
“We don’t do cross-planet services.”
“Then let me think about it some more.” Yu Xiaoduo said tremblingly. What was he supposed to do?
“Lift your head,” Judge Bai Ji said in a deep voice.
Yu Xiaoduo was shaking all over, not daring to look up. Black and White Impermanence rushed over and held him down.
“Yu Xiaoduo! It’s you!”
“No, it’s not me, it’s not me! My name is Yu Duoduo!”
“Guards! Steam him, boil him, fry him, burn him, then cast him into the animal realm!”
“No!!! Sister Bai, I was wrong, I’ll never do it again…”
Looking at the bubbling oil cauldron, Yu Xiaoduo sat up with a scream, cold sweat all over his forehead from fright. He looked around, still shaken—that dream was too real.
“Sis, you’re finally awake! Sister Xiao already made breakfast.” Yun’er pushed open the door and poked her cute little head in with a smile.
Yu Xiaoduo immediately thought of Yun’er in the dream—the killing intent on her face was worse than anyone’s. Terrifying.
“Oh, okay.”
After getting dressed, Yu Xiaoduo came downstairs to find Yun’er and Xiao Luan busy in the kitchen. Whoever married either of them would be blessed beyond belief.
“You guys got up so early,” Yu Xiaoduo said with a smile as he came down.
“Sis, you’ve gotten lazy. You used to get up earlier than anyone,” Gu Yun’er said as she set the warmed milk on the table.
Xiao Luan giggled. “Right? You were even grinding your teeth in your sleep last night.”
Yu Xiaoduo thought of that terrifying dream again, and with Xiao Luan holding a kitchen knife, he was genuinely afraid she’d chop him right there.
“I guess I’ve just been too tired lately,” Yu Xiaoduo said, making stuff up. Women were terrifying once they turned on you. He should really stop doing guilty things—he’d already ended up in hell for it.
After the three finished breakfast, Yu Xiaoduo still had to go to work, Xiao Luan had rehearsal, and Gu Yun’er could rest for a few days—after all, that thing had happened.
Walking out the door, Yu Xiaoduo saw Gu Wan’er waiting at the entrance. Xiao Luan asked curiously, “He’s here to pick you up?”
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s swap. Have him take me, and you get your family’s bodyguard to drive you.”
“Ah.” Yu Xiaoduo felt things were deviating a bit from the plan.
Xiao Luan teased, “What, can’t bear to part with me? Weren’t you trying to set us up?”
“No, I just didn’t expect you to be so proactive.”
“Just giving him a chance—only for half a month though.” Xiao Luan shrugged her fragrant shoulders.
Yu Xiaoduo felt helpless too. If he suddenly changed his attitude and refused, wouldn’t that be even more troublesome? Gu Wan’er was probably just running her mouth—how could she actually pursue him? She’d rather stay single forever. He just had to get through these two weeks.
Outside, Gu Wan’er saw Yu Xiaoduo and Xiao Luan walk out together. She smiled at Xiao Luan, and Xiao Luan was taken aback—this guy’s got some nerve, actually smiling at her.
“Xiao Yu, for the next half month, you’re responsible for driving Miss Xiao to and from.”
