“What are you two doing?”
Bai Ji appeared beside them, looking at the pair with a puzzled expression.
Yu Xiaoduo gazed at Bai Ji through a drunken haze, as if she were a lifeline. “He took away my precious treasure.”
Gu Wan’er helplessly pressed a hand to her forehead.
Bai Ji, knowing full well that the “Gu Wan’er” in her arms was drunk, gently soothed her. “Alright, alright. We’ll get it back for you later.”
“Mm! And we’re taking his big treasure too. I want to install two of them.”
Bai Ji: “???” What on earth was Wan’er babbling about? Two of what?
Gu Wan’er, standing nearby, let out a silent sigh of relief. Thank goodness Sister Bai didn’t catch on.
But then Yu Xiaoduo mumbled again, “He just pulled my pants down and wouldn’t even let me pee standing up.”
Bai Ji couldn’t help but chuckle—this one still thought she was a man. “Be good now, Wan’er. Let’s not mind him. Let’s go home and get some rest.”
Bai Ji’s voice was like a lullaby, and Yu Xiaoduo gradually calmed down. Gu Wan’er’s heart, which had been in her throat, finally eased back down.
Back in the car, Bai Ji took charge of looking after Yu Xiaoduo, while Gu Wan’er sat off to the side, silently praying to every deity she could think of: Yu Xiaoduo, please, for the love of everything, don’t do anything stupid.
But the drunken Yu Xiaoduo, surrounded by the scent of a woman, began to grow restless again, her mouth parched and her thoughts hazy.
“Yu Xiaoduo, pass me a bottle of water.”
“Oh.”
“Honestly, a grown man like you can’t even take care of his own girlfriend.” Bai Ji took the water and couldn’t help scolding “him,” leaving Gu Wan’er with no room to defend herself.
Feeling the cool sweetness on her lips, Yu Xiaoduo gulped down the water, and the burning heat in her chest subsided just a little.
Bai Ji gently stroked the “Wan’er” in her arms, but the girl in her embrace was starting to get fidgety again.
Gu Wan’er turned around out of curiosity—and nearly choked. Yu Xiaoduo, are you out of your mind?! Even Sister Bai—you dare make a move on her?!
“Keep your eyes forward! Turn around!” Bai Ji snapped coldly. Gu Wan’er immediately snapped her gaze ahead. Yu Xiaoduo, oh Yu Xiaoduo… lust is a knife to the throat. Don’t you dare cross that line.
Hearing Yu Xiaoduo make those strange sounds again, Gu Wan’er was practically dying of anxiety.
Bai Ji, meanwhile, was at her wit’s end dealing with the drunk girl—and on top of that, “her boyfriend” was sitting right in the front seat. What a mess.
She forcibly pulled Yu Xiaoduo’s hands away from her.
Luckily, this only lasted a few minutes before Yu Xiaoduo finally dozed off.
Gu Wan’er let out a long, deep breath. Thank heavens. Next time, when Yu Xiaoduo is in my body, she is absolutely not allowed to drink.
Sister Bai really got the short end of the stick—she’s been taken advantage of by Yu Xiaoduo. And this is the woman they call “Brother Bai”—sure, she seems gentle now, but underneath that calm surface, she’s anything but.
Oh my god. If word of this ever gets out…
Still, Yu Xiaoduo had definitely had a blast.
Before long, they were back in Longhai City, and Bai Ji dropped “Gu Wan’er” off at the villa’s entrance.
“Take good care of her.” Bai Ji rolled down the window and reminded Yu Xiaoduo, who was helping “Gu Wan’er” out. Her stunning face still carried a faint blush.
Gu Wan’er nodded. Finally gone. Thank goodness.
As soon as Bai Ji drove off, Gu Yun’er ran out of the house and, seeing her sister in that state, asked anxiously, “What happened to my sister?”
I am your sister!
“She just had a bit too much to drink.” Gu Wan’er said helplessly. Even her own little sister was calling Yu Xiaoduo “big sister”—it felt surreal.
“Hurry, help her inside.”
Gu Wan’er didn’t waste any time and scooped Yu Xiaoduo up in one go. And honestly? She herself weighed over a hundred pounds, but carrying her in Yu Xiaoduo’s body made it feel ridiculously easy.
Gu Yun’er watched as Yu Xiaoduo princess-carried her sister, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. Are they really that close?
After laying Yu Xiaoduo down on her own bed, Gu Wan’er reminded her, “Help her change into some clean clothes later, and wipe her down.”
“Mm, I know.”
Gu Wan’er didn’t linger. “I’ll head off now.”
“Won’t you stay a little longer?” Gu Yun’er was a bit puzzled. Why did things feel so awkward and distant all of a sudden? They’d been chatting so comfortably before—was he just nervous?
Gu Wan’er shook her head. “It’s almost eleven. You should get some rest too.”
Hearing those caring words, Gu Yun’er smiled warmly. But to Gu Wan’er, it was just a sister looking out for her younger sibling.
“Alright, I know. You get some rest too.”
Gu Wan’er didn’t overthink it—her sister had always been polite.
Gu Yun’er walked her to the door before going back to tend to her drunk “sister.”
This time, Yu Xiaoduo didn’t wake up midway. She was completely dead to the world.
And then she had a beautiful dream. In it, Bai Ji cosplayed as Ningguang—gripping Yu Xiaoduo’s heart so tightly it ached. Gu Wan’er became the beloved Raiden Shogun, complete with that disdainful gaze and the infamous “Milk-Scented Slash”—absolutely perfect.
Little Yun’er turned into Ganyu, and Yu Xiaoduo couldn’t help but want to grab those little horns and go for a ride.
Even Ye Shishi showed up as Eula, chasing her around with a massive sword. What the hell? Fine, I’ll turn around and fight back! But when she looked down, she realized she was a slime—being brutally pummeled by all these women. What a nightmare.
Meanwhile, Gu Yun’er held a towel and was gently wiping her sister’s body—only to notice her face twisting into all sorts of odd expressions: silly grins, dazed looks, sudden panic. Is she having some kind of terrifying dream?
Over on the other side, Gu Wan’er walked back into the neighborhood but didn’t head straight home. Instead, she made a detour to the basketball court.
There she found Zhao Liang, leash in hand, playing with a little Bichon Frise.
“Fatty, how’d it go tonight?”
Zhao Liang looked at the approaching “Yu Xiaoduo” and let out a long sigh. “Yu Ge, you’re finally back.”
Seeing his expression, Gu Wan’er already had a feeling things didn’t go as planned. “Don’t lose heart. I’ll think of something else.”
“Think of what?”
“A hot milf, obviously.”
“Yu Ge, have a smoke.” Zhao Liang grinned as he offered a cigarette. Gu Wan’er just made an excuse to pass.
“Yu Ge, your plan was pure genius. When I showed up with the dog, that male dog went like this—” Zhao Liang then hugged a nearby tree and demonstrated right then and there. Gu Wan’er’s jaw nearly dropped. You two perverts, I swear…
The Bichon sitting on the ground stared at its owner as if to say, You’re even more dog than I am.
“Anyway, she chased after me to apologize. And then the little boy asked, ‘Mommy, what are those two puppies doing?’ It was so awkward.”
“So how did you break the awkwardness?” Gu Wan’er asked, curious.
“I said, ‘Summer’s here, all things come to life—it’s that time of year again when the little animals mate and reproduce.'”
Gu Wan’er: “…”
“But that’s not the best part. The little boy said, ‘Mommy and Daddy do that too—that’s how I was born.'” Zhao Liang clapped his hands together, all fired up, as if he’d been the one in the story himself.
