“You should’ve seen it, Yu Ge—her face was redder than a monkey’s butt.”
Gu Wan’er’s mouth twitched. “Hey, Fatty, she’s actually pretty good-looking. Can we not use ‘monkey’s butt’ as a comparison?”
“Whatever, you get the point. Her son was hilarious—a total mom-shaming machine. And now we’re practically brothers.”
Gu Wan’er: “???”
You’re swearing brotherhood with her son? She thinks of you as a buddy, and you’re trying to get with her mom?
Holy crap.
You are absolutely ruthless.
“Yu Ge, I’m just fully committing to your strategy—start with the kid, and the results speak for themselves.” Zhao Liang puffed out his chest, clearly showing off. You’ve got your Gu Zong, I’ve got my hot milf. Old dogs know the best tricks.
“Oh? Not bad.”
“Right? She’s a widow without a man around—even changing a lightbulb is a hassle. I can always drop by to unclog her drains too.”
Gu Wan’er couldn’t take it anymore. This guy was an absolute fiend.
“I’m heading off. We’ll chat at work tomorrow.”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk—Yu Ge’s jealous now, huh?”
After walking a few steps, Gu Wan’er raised her arm and flipped him the bird, just like this.
╭∩╮
Zhao Liang, dog in tow, returned the gesture with a grin.
Carrying the flask of wine, Gu Wan’er skillfully unlocked the front door. Uncle and Auntie were glued to the TV.
“Dad. Mom.”
“Shh!” they both said in unison.
What are they watching that’s so captivating?
Gu Wan’er walked into the living room for a peek—a spy drama. Of course.
No choice but to pull out the big guns. She unscrewed the cap of the wine flask, and instantly, the rich aroma of aged liquor filled the air.
Yu Taiduo’s nose twitched like it had its own radar. He sniffed the air, then looked toward his son and the flask in his hand.
“Whoa, let me have a whiff.” Yu Taiduo never expected his son would actually bring home a good bottle of wine to honor him—that was a first.
“Let me smell it too.” Tang Ling snatched it over, took one sniff, and her brow furrowed into a deep crease.
Gu Wan’er felt something was off.
“Where did this wine come from?”
Gu Wan’er had already prepared her story. “I had dinner with Gu Zong today, and the client was way too generous—practically forced this flask on me. I thought Dad’s a wine lover, so I brought it back.”
“Really?” Tang Ling looked at her son skeptically.
“Of course! I couldn’t afford a wine this good on my own.”
Tang Ling thought it over—that was true enough. But this wine seemed to have quite a few years on it; you wouldn’t find it on the market. Only serious collectors would have something like this.
“Honey, Xiao Duo brings us a nice bottle and you’re already giving him a hard time. Go whip up some peanuts—let’s have a little toast.”
Tang Ling figured that was fair. “Xiao Duo, Mom’s not trying to be difficult. But in the future, don’t go accepting gifts like this so casually.”
“Oh, okay.” Gu Wan’er breathed a quiet sigh of relief. What secrets is Yu Xiaoduo hiding that she can’t even tell her own parents?
Tang Ling quickly prepared a plate of peanuts. The couple poured themselves a tiny cup each, took a delicate sip—and their eyes went wide as saucers.
“Outstanding!” Yu Taiduo pointed at the cup, exclaiming. It had been ages since he’d tasted something this fine.
Tang Ling nodded silently. “It really is good stuff.”
“Mom, Dad, it’s getting late—don’t drink too much. I’m off to bed.” With that, Gu Wan’er made her escape. Yu Xiaoduo, don’t say I’m cheap—Ye Shishi offered millions for this, and I gave it to your parents.
Watching her son slip back to his room, Tang Ling sighed softly. Yu Taiduo quickly capped the flask. “Let’s ration it—one small cup a day max. Once it’s gone, it’s gone.”
“Sigh. A wine like this—normal people can’t even collect it, let alone give it away as a gift. Whoever gave it must be someone important.”
“I swear, you overthink everything. Xiao Duo’s not out there committing some heinous crime—he’s turned over a new leaf.”
Tang Ling took another tiny sip. “Fine, fine. One bottle of wine and you’re already bought off.”
“Don’t put it like that—Xiao Duo deserves some credit. Who knows, maybe next year he’ll give you a grandkid to spoil.”
At the mention of grandchildren, Tang Ling’s smile slowly crept back. “That’s true. Why’s the kid so dense, though? Should’ve used the wine to get Wan’er drunk—then it’d be a done deal. You should teach him a thing or two about wooing women. You weren’t half-bad back in the day.”
Yu Taiduo was completely stumped, just bowing and laughing awkwardly.
And just then, a strange sound drifted out from Yu Xiaoduo’s room—oh yeah and oh my god included.
Yu Taiduo’s face froze, then twisted into a look of utter disappointment. “Look at that! A grown man with a girlfriend and he’s still—!!”
Inside the room, Gu Wan’er was about to lose her mind. The download was almost finished—she’d only meant to preview it for Yu Xiaoduo. But she’d accidentally hit play right in the middle, and the sound nearly scared the soul out of her.
She tried to turn it off, but turned the knob the wrong way, and the volume exploded. At this dead hour of the night, there was no hiding it.
Gu Wan’er wanted to dig a hole and bury herself. She’d never been so mortified in her entire life. Who knew what Auntie and Uncle must be thinking of her now.
Yu Xiaoduo, this is all your fault.
——–
Monday arrived in Longhai City with a dreary drizzle, weighing on everyone’s mood.
Still lying in bed, Yu Xiaoduo smacked her lips. Though not fully awake, she thought to herself: How strange—I drank so much yesterday, yet my head doesn’t hurt this morning, and my mouth isn’t even that dry.
But this mattress feels off… wait.
She opened her eyes and saw her familiar shabby little room. Yu Xiaoduo froze for a second, then couldn’t help but start laughing. Sorry, Gu Zong—you can deal with that hangover yourself. I’m out!
Meanwhile, Gu Wan’er had just gotten up and was cursing Yu Xiaoduo from head to toe. She’d woken up with a splitting headache and a mouth dry as bone. When she opened her eyes, she was back in her own body.
Normally, she’d have been thrilled, but not this time. On top of the headache, her entire body ached—and Yu Xiaoduo hadn’t been lying about the muscle strain.
Still, she had to admit, the guy was decent enough. If she’d woken up to find Yun’er lying beside her, she’d have grabbed a kitchen knife and gone after him.
Just then, her phone rang—Yu Xiaoduo calling, no doubt gloating.
“Hello.” Gu Wan’er’s voice was ice cold.
“Whoa, what’s with Gu Zong today? Did you eat gunpowder for breakfast?” Yu Xiaoduo said with a grin as she brushed her teeth, clearly enjoying the payback after being laughed at a few days ago.
Gu Wan’er took a deep breath to steady herself. “Small minds relish petty victories.”
“Don’t say that—I’m just concerned about your health, Gu Zong. A hangover’s no joke. You should take some hangover medicine or something.”
Hearing Yu Xiaoduo’s smug remarks, Gu Wan’er snorted. “Do you even remember what you said and did last night when you were drunk?”
Yu Xiaoduo paused, staring out the window as she tried to recall. “…Not really.”
“Did I run my mouth and spill our secret?” Yu Xiaoduo’s tone turned anxious. If that had happened, they might as well prepare for the worst.
