Lin Hai got out of the car and saw Xu Tian busy dispersing the crowd.
That goofball Ahua had been hamming it up, but instead of scattering, more and more people kept gathering to watch the spectacle, even causing a traffic jam.
After finally managing to clear the crowd, Lin Hai sidled up next to Xu Tian.
“Um… Sweetie—” Xu Tian suddenly shot him a fierce glare.
“Ah, no, no, I mean Officer Auntie—”
“Who are you calling ‘Auntie’?” Xu Tian snapped with a sharp, charming scold.
“Alright, alright, Officer.” Lin Hai quickly waved his hands. “What I wanted to say is, what you saw just now—it’s not what you think…”
“Pervert! Scram!” Without even waiting for Lin Hai to finish, Xu Tian hopped on her police motorcycle and sped off in a huff.
Lin Hai watched her retreating figure, his face covered in dark lines.
“Dammit, this is all your fault!” Lin Hai kicked Meng Xu squarely in the rear.
“Hai-ge, how is this my fault? I’m a victim here too, you know!” Meng Xu looked utterly wronged, pitiful beyond belief.
Song Qin and Ahua got into Lin Hai’s car. Lin Hai stepped on the gas and drove off.
Meng Xu was left standing there alone, on the verge of tears.
“Hai-ge, I even showed you my butt, and you can’t even give me a ride home? I’m so heartbroken.” Meng Xu covered his face and sobbed dramatically.
Once home, Lin Hai went back to his room.
“Hm?” The moment he stepped in, he saw Chu Lin’er looking at him with flirtatious, glowing eyes—so tender it was almost sickeningly sweet.
“What the hell are you up to?” Lin Hai quickly crossed his arms over his chest, on high alert.
Every single time Chu Lin’er made that face, nothing good ever followed.
“Little Haihai, come sit over here.” Chu Lin’er winked at him and curled her finger in a come-hither gesture.
“Come on, can you be serious? You’re scaring me like that.” Lin Hai shuddered all over.
“Hmph, you’re so annoying! Not romantic at all.” Chu Lin’er pouted and said huffily.
Pfft!
I’m supposed to be romantic with you, a female ghost? What romance is there even to be had?
“Alright, spit it out. What is it this time?” Lin Hai plopped down casually on the bed.
“That Du Qian is way too good at chess! Ever since he learned how to play, I haven’t won a single game. I don’t want to play with him anymore, hmph!” Chu Lin’er let out an angry little snort.
Pfft!
“You’re telling me Du Qian keeps winning?” Lin Hai asked in disbelief.
“Yeah! And after he wins, he mocks me, calls me a lousy player. It makes me so mad.”
Lin Hai’s face was full of disbelief.
Good grief. This Du Qian seemed like a pretty sharp guy—how could he be so clueless about how to handle people?
Playing chess with a princess is supposed to be about keeping her company and making her happy. But no—you had to go and win every single game. How low can your emotional intelligence get?
Thank goodness Chu Lin’er was still childlike at heart and didn’t have any malicious intentions. If it were someone like Ma Mian, they’d probably toss you into a pot of boiling oil without a second thought!
“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back.” Lin Hai pulled out his phone and found Du Qian on WeChat.
Little Confused Immortal: Are you Li Gang?
Du Qian: No, I’m Du Qian. (followed by a shocked emoji)
Little Confused Immortal: Is your dad Li Gang?
Du Qian: No, my dad is Du Ziteng.
Little Confused Immortal: Do you have a friend named Li Gang?
Du Qian: No, but I’m pretty close with Li Kui.
Little Confused Immortal: You’re not Li Gang, your dad’s not Li Gang, and none of your friends are Li Gang—then who the hell gave you the nerve to not let Princess Lin’er win a single game of chess?
Du Qian: That’s because my skills are just that good.
Good my foot. Lin Hai was convinced Du Qian had a block of wood for a brain.
Not bothering to waste any more words on him, Lin Hai noticed a copy of Thick Black Theory sitting on his bedside table—something he’d picked up on a whim when he bought One Piece last time.
He scanned it with his phone and sent the whole thing straight to Du Qian.
Little Confused Immortal: Study this well. It’ll guarantee you a promotion and a fortune.
Du Qian: Really? To be honest with you, fellow ghost buddy, all seventy-two Earthly Demons are now Yin officials of the third rank or above, except me—I’m still stuck at the second rank. I dream about getting promoted every single night.
Pfft!
See? I knew it. With that kind of emotional intelligence, how could he possibly get ahead? No wonder he was the lowest-ranked among the seventy-two.
Little Confused Immortal: Alright, go read it now. Study hard and make progress every day.
Du Qian: Mm, thank you, ghost buddy. Once I get promoted, I’ll definitely repay you!
“What did you send Du Qian?” Chu Lin’er asked curiously, seeing that Lin Hai had sent a book over.
“A treasure, of course.”
“Pfft, it’s just some old book. A treasure? Who’d believe that?” Chu Lin’er curled her lip.
“Well, you’re a ghost, so you’ve got to believe me.” Lin Hai shrugged.
“Hey, come play a game of chess with me.” Chu Lin’er suddenly pulled out her phone.
“No time.”
“Come on, don’t be like that. Hurry up—I’ve already got the room ready. Just come play with me, won’t you?” Chu Lin’er started acting all coy and whiny.
Just then, Ahua pushed the door open with his nose and walked in, catching Chu Lin’er’s words at the perfect moment.
“You two are going to get a room?” Ahua’s face was full of shock.
Pfft!
Lin Hai nearly fell flat on his face.
“Get a room my *ss! You perverted mutt, get your mind out of the gutter!” Lin Hai kicked him.
“Dad, don’t bother hiding it. I heard everything.” Ahua still wore that same look of utter shock.
You heard nothing, you moron! Lin Hai was this close to stewing that mangy dog.
“Hurry up, I can’t wait any longer.” Chu Lin’er urged him again, her voice dripping with seductive charm.
“See, Dad? You can’t deny it now!” Ahua’s doggy eyes were practically bulging out of his skull.
Pfft!
Good lord. This ghost and this dog together were absolutely lethal.
“Fine, just one game.” Lin Hai gave in.
“Great, great!” Chu Lin’er quickly held up her phone. “Come in, come in quick.”
Two minutes later.
“You lost.” Lin Hai exited the room.
“Hey, that round doesn’t count! Let’s play another one.” Chu Lin’er floated right back in front of him.
“No. We agreed on one game.”
“Please, just one more? The very last one, I promise.” Chu Lin’er wheedled in that sickly-sweet voice.
Lin Hai simply ignored her.
“Hmph, you’re annoying—just as annoying as Du Qian! I’m not talking to you anymore.” Chu Lin’er huffed and floated off to play a single-player game instead.
Lin Hai opened WeChat and found Tieguai Li.
Little Confused Immortal: Is your son’s plum blossom birthmark on his left butt cheek or his right?
Tieguai Li: (a row of shocked emojis)
Dammit. Lin Hai nearly threw his phone across the room.
Every single time he chatted with this guy, he’d start with a row of shocked emojis before saying anything. What the hell are you shocked about?
Little Confused Immortal: If you still want news about your son, don’t send me that emoji again. (followed by an angry emoji)
Tieguai Li: The plum blossom is on the right cheek. Immortal, do you have news of my son? (still followed by a row of shocked emojis)
Sigh. Lin Hai was starting to get almost addicted to that shocked emoji—every time he saw it, he wanted to explode.
Little Confused Immortal: I did find someone with a plum blossom brand on his right butt cheek, but I can’t confirm yet if he’s your son.
Tieguai Li: Really? (followed by yet another row of shocked emojis)
For crying out loud! Lin Hai was sick to death of seeing that emoji.
Little Confused Immortal: Dammit, if you send that emoji one more time, forget about finding your son.
Tieguai Li: I won’t, I won’t! Please, Immortal, tell me quick.
This time, the guy actually held back.
Lin Hai curled his lip when he saw that. Well, I’ll be damned—I can actually break that habit of yours.
Little Confused Immortal: Take a look—is this him?
Lin Hai sent over the photo of Meng Xu’s bare backside.
Tieguai Li: (a screen full of shocked emojis)
Pfft!
Son of a—!
Lin Hai was completely done for.
