Driving back to the villa, Yu Xiaoduo found that Yun’er hadn’t come home at all. He’d been hoping to have a nice, in-depth chat with her.
He decided to give her a call, just in case she ran into any trouble.
The call connected quickly, and Gu Yun’er’s sweet voice came through: “Big Sis.”
“Where are you?”
“At the film crew. We’re shooting night scenes for the next few days, so I won’t be back. Didn’t I mention it before?”
Oh, Chief Gu, you’re really guarding against me, aren’t you?
“Mm, do a good job with the filming. Get some rest early.”
“I will. You get some rest early too, Sis. There’s still some food in the fridge, by the way. I saved it for you.”
Ah, Yun’er is so nice. Your sister is the type who burns the bridge after crossing it. Looks like tonight is another night of me playing with myself.
And just like that, a perfectly good weekend was spent. Tomorrow, it was back to work.
He ate the chicken feet, chicken wings, and other snacks Yun’er had left for him, and even grabbed a bottle of iced happy soda (cola) from the fridge. It was amazing.
But not long after, Yu Xiaoduo suddenly felt a cramp in his stomach, a wave of pain hitting him. Did I eat something bad? He rushed to the bathroom.
But soon, he realized something was wrong. Why do I smell blood? He took a closer look and thought, Holy crap!
He quickly called Gu Wan’er.
“Hello? What is it?” Gu Wan’er answered from her bed, not sounding too happy.
“Gu Wan’er, you’re hemorrhaging badly!!”
“What?! I’m hemorrhaging?”
“Yeah, there’s a lot of blood. Do you have some kind of medical condition?”
Gu Wan’er frowned and asked, “What’s the date today?”
“The 14th.”
“Oh, that’s fine then. My auntie (period) is here.” Gu Wan’er said calmly. Finally, I don’t have to experience the pain of Auntie Flo. Being a man is pretty good sometimes. See? I can let Yu Xiaoduo suffer for me. Hahaha, what goes around comes around.
Yu Xiaoduo: “…”
It was Yu Xiaoduo’s first time experiencing period pain. “Hey, how do you usually deal with the pain when your auntie visits?”
“Drink plenty of hot water.”
“Like I needed you to tell me that. Don’t I know that already?”
“Well, isn’t that what you guys always say?” Gu Wan’er sounded absolutely delighted with herself.
Yu Xiaoduo held his stomach, slowly making his way to the bed and curling up into a ball. “My dear Chief Gu, please show some mercy. Is this kind of pain even humanly bearable?”
“Hmph, it’s just a stomachache. I have to go through this every single month.”
“Ouch, I’m not a woman. I’ve never felt this before.”
“Letting you experience a woman’s pain isn’t such a bad thing. Get a hot water bottle and put it on your stomach. It helps ease the pain.”
Yu Xiaoduo hung up and went to prepare one. It was actually quite effective; his stomach didn’t hurt as much.
Being a woman is way too miserable. I’d rather be a man.
Oh, heavens, let me go back to my own body. Let me come back and play after this Auntie Flo is gone.
As the pain ebbed and flowed, Yu Xiaoduo gradually fell asleep. He even had a strange dream where Gu Wan’er pinned him down and flashed this creepy, evil grin. He woke up instantly, terrified.
When he saw the familiar bedroom, Yu Xiaoduo pressed his hands together in thanks. Thank you, heavens, for letting me return to my own body. I dodged that Auntie Flo bullet.
But he still had to say, In this heat, and she had me wearing pajamas? I really can’t with her.
Back at the villa, Gu Wan’er was sleeping when she started to feel a dull ache in her stomach. She opened her eyes and nearly cursed out loud. How did I change back?!
Yu Xiaoduo, you must have used some kind of trick. You thought you could avoid Auntie Flo, but Auntie Flo isn’t letting me off the hook.
Damn Yu Xiaoduo. You’ve taken so many liberties. Would it kill you to feel a few days of pain for me? Ugh, why does it hurt so much this time?
Then she saw the chicken feet, chicken wing bones, and the drink that Yu Xiaoduo had consumed, and it all clicked instantly.
Yu Xiaoduo, you’ve screwed me over again! I must have owed you a debt in a past life!
She quickly called him up, ready to give him a piece of her mind.
At that moment, Yu Xiaoduo yawned and listened to the roaring coming through the phone. It sounded a lot like his own complaints from yesterday.
“Alright, how was I supposed to know your auntie was coming? You didn’t tell me.”
“It hurts so bad…”
Yu Xiaoduo pouted. Fake it, keep faking it. It’s clearly not that painful anymore. “Chief Gu, drink plenty of hot water.”
Gu Wan’er: “…”
“You have no conscience. I hope you stay single forever.” With that, she hung up and curled up on the big bed, hugging her stomach.
Listening to the dial tone, Yu Xiaoduo sighed softly. See? She got all worked up.
He walked out of the bedroom and almost called out “Auntie,” catching himself just in time. “Mom, what’s for breakfast?”
Tang Ling watched her son stride out so casually and felt like something was a bit off. “Egg pancakes.”
“Oh.”
Yu Taiduo, sitting nearby, asked seriously, “Xiaoduo, is Gu Wan’er really your girlfriend?”
“Dad, you guys actually took that seriously? We were just joking around.” Yu Xiaoduo tried to explain.
Tang Ling didn’t like hearing that one bit. “Duoduo, what do you mean by that? That girl didn’t seem like she was joking. Are you playing with her feelings?”
Yu Xiaoduo’s mouth twitched. Looks like I overdid it with the acting yesterday.
“Come on, you don’t know Gu Wan’er. The way she acted yesterday was all fake. Besides, she’s a general manager, a total package—beautiful, rich, and high-class. Why would she be interested in me?”
Yu Taiduo nodded slowly. “That’s what I thought. There’s no such thing as that kind of luck with the ladies.”
Yu Xiaoduo rolled his eyes. Am I even your real son?
“Then why did she come to our house?” Tang Ling still didn’t believe it and pressed further.
“Actually, Chief Gu needed my help with something. That day in the car, we were just discussing work. Mom, you just started letting your imagination run wild.”
Tang Ling sighed and sat down. “Why don’t you even try to pursue her? She asked for your help, which means she trusts you.”
“Not my type.”
“Or maybe you just can’t get her.”
“Mom, that reverse psychology trick is outdated.” Yu Xiaoduo downed his glass of milk and got ready to leave for work.
Arriving at the parking garage, Yu Xiaoduo sat in his car waiting for Zhao Liang. After thinking it over, he decided to give Gu Wan’er a call.
Of course, she didn’t answer. Ha, women.
Soon enough, Zhao Liang showed up as usual. But as he walked towards the passenger side of Yu Xiaoduo’s car, Yu Xiaoduo saw the fat guy open the door of the car parked right next to his. Only now did he notice that the other car still had red silk ribbons tied to it.
He got out to take a look and couldn’t help but exclaim, “Fatty, holy crap! You went for an RS7?”
“Yu, we agreed to stay single together, but you didn’t keep your word. So I’m getting a girlfriend too.” Zhao Liang looked completely serious.
Yu Xiaoduo grinned, locked his own car, and got into the passenger seat of Zhao Liang’s. “Let’s go, time for work.”
“Yu, this is my future girlfriend’s special seat.”
“Dude, you’ve been using my girlfriend’s special seat for almost two years. Hurry up, we’re late.”
Zhao Liang pouted and said resentfully, “Yu, you’ve changed. Now that you have a girlfriend like Chief Gu, we’ve grown apart.”
Yu Xiaoduo: “…”
“I asked you to go to the internet cafe for some League of Legends yesterday, and you didn’t want to. You pick women over your bros now.”
Oh my god. Look how pitiful Fatty is acting. Did you buy that RS7 just to make me jealous?
