My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 63

Lin Hai stared at the so-called “Dragon Scale Armor” in his hands, feeling like crying but having no tears left.

Damn you, Nezha!

Out of all the possible designs, you had to make it a freaking bellyband?!

Just because you run around in one doesn’t mean everyone else should!

And it’s red, too! How the hell is a grown man supposed to wear this?!

No wonder you came to me first—who the hell would buy this?

No. Refund. Now.

Little Confused Immortal: “Nezha, I want a refund!” (Angry emoji)

Nezha: “Busy slaying dragons. Talk later!”

Damn it!

Lin Hai’s blood pressure spiked.

Weren’t you the one who just said you’d never slay dragons again?!

Weren’t you the one who called this armor a ‘limited edition’?!

Limited my ass!

He’d been scammed.

Now, he was stuck holding a red bellyband with no idea what to do with it. The storage bag only allowed extraction, not returns.

What now?

Then it hit him—I’ll just give it to Xin Yue!

His mind conjured up an image of Liu Xin Yue wearing the red bellyband, blushing shyly at him.

“Heh heh heh…” A perverted grin spread across his face.

Yeah. That’s the move.

He immediately texted her:

“Xin Yue, what are you up to? I’ve got a gift for you!”

A moment later, she replied:

“Practicing singing. Talk tonight.”

Then, radio silence.

Great. Now where the hell do I put this thing?

Just as he was pondering, the door slammed open—Wang Peng barged in.

“Huh? Hai, why aren’t you in class—PFFT!” Wang Peng’s words dissolved into laughter as he spotted the red bellyband in Lin Hai’s hands.

“HAHAHAHA!” He doubled over, clutching his stomach.

Lin Hai’s face darkened like a burnt wok.

“Laugh your ass off, why don’t you?”

“Oh man, I’m dying!” Wang Peng wheezed, finally catching his breath. “Where the hell did you get a red bellyband? Did you steal it from the girls’ dorm?”

“Steal your ass!”

“Haha, then what—you planning to wear it yourself?”

Lin Hai’s eye twitched.

…Actually, yeah. Until I found out it was a freaking bellyband.

Wang Peng whipped out his phone. “Click!”

“Oi! Why the hell are you taking pictures?!”

“Duh. This is prime meme material!”

“You bastard—”

Within minutes, Wang Peng’s social media was updated with a photo of Lin Hai holding the red bellyband.

And, as expected, the internet did what it does best—spread it like wildfire.

Soon, the image had circulated through Jiangnan University, even popping up on forums with a delightfully exaggerated caption:

“EXCLUSIVE: Gentle Song King Lin Hai’s Secret Fetish—Red Bellybands!”

Fantastic. More fame.

Lin Hai groaned as he scrolled through the absurd, fabricated “news” online. He was this close to throttling Wang Peng.

Ding!

A message from Xin Yue:

“You… like wearing bellybands?”

PFFT—

Too fast. Way too fast.

“Xin Yue, what if I told you that bellyband was meant to be your gift? Would you believe me?”

A pause. Then:

“You’re so annoying… how did you know I like bellybands?”

WHAT?!

Lin Hai’s eyes nearly bulged out of his skull.

Xin Yue… wears bellybands?!

“Guess we’re just in sync,” he lied smoothly.

“I wear one to sleep every night. It’s like pajamas.”

Holy crap. A lucky strike!

“Then tonight, wear it for me,” he sent back, adding a drooling emoji.

“No way!” (Blushing emoji)

Just as he was grinning at his phone, it rang.

Huh?

The caller ID: “Wild Brat”—Liu Xin Qing, Xin Yue’s little sister.

What does she want?

He answered.

“Get to First High’s gate. Now.”

Click.

Whoa, rude.

But something in her tone set off alarms.

Lin Hai bolted downstairs, hopped in his car, and sped off.

Jiangnan First High was only five minutes away.

As soon as he parked, he spotted Xin Qing—cornered by a gang of girls with neon-colored hair.

The leader, a redhead with a cigarette dangling from her lips, was shoving Xin Qing aggressively.

What the hell?!

Lin Hai rushed over, yanking Xin Qing behind him.

“Back off!”

The redhead blew smoke in his face. “The fuck you are? Xin Qing, this your sugar daddy?”

Lin Hai was stunned.

Since when did high school girls get this hardcore?!

“Red Boss, shut up! This is my brother-in-law!” Xin Qing snapped.

Brother-in-law?!

Lin Hai nearly teared up.

She finally stopped calling me ‘Pervert’!

For that alone, I’ve got your back, kid.

Adopting his best “delinquent” posture, Lin Hai lit a cigarette.

If these kids wanna act gangster, I’ll play along.

(Unbeknownst to him, he looked less like a mob boss and more like a wannabe thug.)

“Alright, Red Boss. What’s your beef with Xin Qing?”

“This little bitch stole my man! I’m gonna claw her pretty face off!”

WHAT?!

Lin Hai’s jaw dropped.

Xin Qing’s… in a love triangle?! She’s still a kid!

Suddenly, he felt ancient.

“Brother-in-law, she’s lying!” Xin Qing protested. “Liu Zhiqiang just asked me about a homework problem! She’s making stuff up!”

Ah. Got it.

But now came the real problem—how to handle this?

If it were a bunch of guys, he’d just beat them up and leave.

But a gang of girl bullies?

How the hell do I fight back without looking like a monster?!

Just then, another girl shoved a scrawny boy into the circle.

“Red Boss, brought Liu Zhiqiang!”

Lin Hai studied the guy who’d caused all this drama.

…Huh.

The kid had a full beard—impressive for a high schooler.

But on his frail frame, it looked ridiculous.

Red Boss’s taste is… unique.

Then Liu Zhiqiang spoke.

“Red Boss, p-please! I was just asking about homework!”

PFFT—

Lin Hai lost it.

That voice?!

A beard paired with a squeaky, effeminate tone?!

This is too much!

“You laughing at my man?!” Red Boss snarled. “Girls—beat his ass!“