My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 39

“Can you make it cheaper?” Lin Hai was unwilling to part with his hard-earned 9999 merit points.

“No bargaining, dear!” came the reply.

Damn it! Lin Hai felt like a herd of alpacas was stampeding through his mind. This Zhang Tian Shi (Celestial Master Zhang) was ruthless, a real-life version of the infamous Zhou Bapi (a miserly landlord). But what could he do? He desperately needed a tool to ward off ghosts.

Fine, I’ll take it! One day, I’ll make you pay back every bit of this with interest!

Little Confused Immortal: Alright, send the treasure over!

Celestial Master Zhang: Payment first, then goods, dear.

Pfft! You old geezer!

Lin Hai opened his wallet and transferred 9999 merit points to Celestial Master Zhang.

Damn, now I’m left with only 100 points, which I earned by giving Xiao Qingshan a ride. What a joke!

Celestial Master Zhang has sent you a Peach Wood Sword.

Wait, what? A Peach Wood Sword? Are you kidding me?!

Lin Hai had expected some kind of magical treasure, but instead, he got a Peach Wood Sword. How was he supposed to carry this around without looking like a complete idiot?

Little Confused Immortal: Can I return it?

Lin Hai was starting to regret his decision.

Celestial Master Zhang: No returns or exchanges. (Followed by three smirking emojis)

Fine, you win! Just you wait!

Lin Hai cursed under his breath. Since he’d already bought it, there was no point in regretting it now. He decided to take a closer look.

He opened his Qiankun Bag (Cosmic Bag), and a delicate Peach Wood Sword appeared in one of the slots.

Peach Wood Sword: A ghost-repelling artifact crafted by Celestial Master Zhang. Usable only by immortals of the Celestial level or above.

Pfft! Are you kidding me?! Only Celestial-level immortals can use it? Why didn’t you say that earlier? What good is this to me? It’s practically a useless stick!

No, I have to return this!

Little Dazed Immortal: Master, this treasure can only be used by Celestial-level immortals, but I need something a mortal can use.

Celestial Master Zhang: Everyone in the Heavenly Court is at least a Celestial-level immortal. Why would you need something for mortals? (A confused emoji)

Little Confused Immortal: I’m trapped in a secret realm where my powers are restricted. Right now, I’m no different from a mortal.

Celestial Master Zhang: Damn, that’s rough. But don’t worry, this Peach Wood Sword can still be used by mortals, though its power is limited. If you just need it to ward off ghosts, it’ll do the job. As long as you carry it, most ghosts won’t dare come near you.

Little Dazed Immortal: Really? You’re not lying to me, are you?

Lin Hai was skeptical. Celestial Master Zhang seemed like a sly old fox.

Celestial Master Zhang: Just try it out. If it doesn’t work, I’ll make you a mortal-friendly version for free.

That’s more like it!

It was the middle of the night, and everyone in the dorm was asleep. Lin Hai clicked “Extract.”

Huh?

Looking at the tiny Peach Wood Sword in his palm—barely two or three centimeters long with a small hole in the hilt—Lin Hai was furious.

What the hell is this? It’s just a trinket! How is this supposed to ward off ghosts? This has to be some knockoff, a fake product!

Little Confused Immortal: Celestial Master Zhang, get your ass out here! (Followed by three angry emojis)

Celestial Master Zhang: What’s wrong?

Lin Hai snapped a photo of the miniature Peach Wood Sword and sent it over.

Celestial Master Zhang: What’s the problem?

Little Confused Immortal: Do you really think this can ward off ghosts? (Followed by three angry emojis)

Celestial Master Zhang: Oh, I told you, its power is limited. It’ll only transform into a real Peach Wood Sword when infused with immortal energy. But even in this form, it’ll still repel ghosts. Just wear it as a pendant, and you’ll be fine. Trust me.

Damn it, you better not be lying to me!

Lin Hai was frustrated. He felt like he’d been scammed.

He took off the cheap pendant he’d bought from a street vendor and replaced it with the Peach Wood Sword, threading it onto the red string.

I’ll wear it for now and see if it works.

As soon as the tiny Peach Wood Sword touched his chest, Lin Hai felt a cool sensation spread through him, clearing his mind.

Huh? Maybe it actually does have some effect.

After what felt like hours, Lin Hai finally fell asleep.

The next morning, the sun was already high when Lin Hai woke up. He decided to skip class.

First, he opened his Qiankun Bag to see what his Red Packet Grabber had snagged for him today.

Spirit Beast Pill: Food for spirit beasts.

Ugh, useless! Where am I supposed to find a spirit beast to feed this to? Even if I wanted to steal one, I wouldn’t know where to look.

Lin Hai didn’t bother extracting it and left it in the Qiankun Bag.

After some thought, he sent a message to Liu Xinyue.

“Xinyue, what are you up to?”

“I’m at the hospital, picking up my dad. Director Du said his condition is stable now, so he doesn’t need to stay in the hospital. We can take him home and just give him saline infusions to maintain his health. It’ll save us a lot of money.”

“What the hell? Why didn’t you call me?”

“My mom said we’ve already troubled you enough.”

“Come on, I’m practically your son-in-law. Why would I mind helping out?”

“Stop it, you’re not my son-in-law.”

Lin Hai got dressed, washed up quickly, and drove to the hospital.

As he entered the hospital, he saw a group of men and women pushing a gurney out, crying. On the gurney was a body covered with a white sheet—clearly, someone had died.

Lin Hai didn’t pay much attention. People died in hospitals every day.

But as he passed by, he glanced at the body.

“Huh? Why does that old man have a chain around his neck?”

Then he looked beside the old man.

Holy crap!

Lin Hai’s hair stood on end.

A man in a black robe and a tall black hat, with a pale face, was holding an iron chain. The other end of the chain was wrapped around the old man’s neck.

Damn, isn’t that Hei Wuchang (Black Impermanence), the underworld’s ghostly enforcer, just like in the movies?

Another ghost sighting!

Even in broad daylight, Lin Hai felt a chill run down his spine.

He quickly moved aside, but Hei Wuchang seemed to be targeting him, walking straight toward him.

Damn it! Lin Hai was freaking out.

There was no way to avoid him!

Buzz!

Just as Hei Wuchang seemed about to collide with Lin Hai, a bright light erupted from Lin Hai’s chest, enveloping him.

Hei Wuchang and the old man were terrified of the light. They were thrown back and landed on the ground, looking utterly confused.

“Holy crap, that was awesome!” Lin Hai realized the tiny Peach Wood Sword had done its job.

“Haha, so Celestial Master Zhang wasn’t lying after all.”

Feeling more confident with the Peach Wood Sword’s protection, Lin Hai waved his hand in front of Hei Wuchang.

“Huh? He can’t see me?”

Lin Hai was puzzled. The female ghost from yesterday had definitely seen him.

Wait, I didn’t activate my Heavenly Eye. How can I see ghosts now?

Damn, this is all so weird!

Lin Hai decided not to overthink it. He continued upstairs to help his future father-in-law get home.

—

Meanwhile, in the underworld, King Chujiang of the Ten Yama Kings picked up his phone and sent a message to Chu Lin’er.

“Lin’er, the 7th Soul Reaper was attacked out of nowhere. Go check it out!”

Chu Lin’er had been wandering near the hospital for days, bored out of her mind, with no leads on the person who had performed the Golden Needle Soul Transfer.

When she received King Chujiang’s message, her eyes lit up.

“Haha, finally something to do! I don’t have to be bored anymore.”