Sitting on the roadside under the glaring sun, my mind went completely blank. A profound sense of loss, as if the very meaning of life had vanished, lingered in my heart, making my body feel weak.
The future is as indistinct as a swirling mist. Where should I go? How will this story end? If not for that impulsive decision, how could I have set foot on this path of no return?
There’s nowhere left to go…
Threading a needle: Now I have the thread, but where is the needle?
I am confined within a small world, equipped with only one pair of eyes and one pair of ears—everything I see, hear, and feel helps to construct this world for “me.”
‘You know that, right…’
My feelings…
Helplessness and loneliness coiled around me like a python, leaving me unable to struggle. It felt as if endless despair and exhaustion were intertwined, weaving a vast net that ensnared my dreams.
So tired.
That’s all I can manage; there’s nothing else I can do.
I don’t have that capability. I can only watch from the sidelines, envying those who do.
Are there any other options?
If so, which direction should I take?
If only there were a soft, large bed in front of me where I could rest—
Even death would be enough.
“Instead of wasting time thinking about all this nonsense, let’s get moving.”
I patted my cheeks, brushed the dust off my skirt, and stood up to continue on my way.
…
…
I tried my best to recall everything that had happened that day and quickly wrote it all down.
Soon after, feeling I had done enough, I closed the now-filled diary and put it back into my bag along with the quill.
——7:34.
Protected by the wolf pack, I safely weathered the cold night. Saying goodbye to the cubs in the morning was a bit bittersweet…
But there’s no time for self-pity now.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m utterly exhausted, both mentally and physically. It feels like I have so much to do, yet I don’t want to deal with any of it.
I’m so tired, I don’t want to keep going.
Even if I reach Feltro, I might not find Elf and Alec; they might not even be there anymore. And even if I do find them, they might not need me now; they might be living better lives.
I imagined a constant ache in my mouth, and an unknown sourness welled up in my chest, as if everything were crumpled inside, leaving me unnervingly clear-headed.
Without Elf and the others, I’d be like a kite with a severed string, drifting in the wind—sometimes high, sometimes low—eventually shattering into pieces.
This goal is my direction—but
what if I lose even this?
“I knew it. There’s no way that guy Glick could make that much money.”
“Of course. Since we haven’t gained anything here at Mount Carter, how could he?”
“Right, right! Listen, once we get past Carter and reach [Feltero], if we meet a nice lady… hey! I’ll treat you to a feast!”
“Cut it out.”
Hearing the sound of a carriage and two people talking not far behind me, I blinked, got off the rock, forced myself to perk up, and then snapped my fingers to cast [Universal Concealment].
In short, it was a horse-drawn carriage. I lightly leaped onto it.
“Hey, bro, doesn’t something feel off? Like something got into the carriage.”
“You’re just imagining things.”
“…I hope so. This area’s never been peaceful.”
Sitting in the carriage, I looked at the cold yet peculiarly ‘hot’ goods around me. After making sure the two in front weren’t paying attention to the back, I relaxed.
I’m not tired.
I’m so tired.
I hope no one bothers me after this.
I’m just a person, not a god… I don’t possess the magnanimity of Bao Zheng, nor the mind of Sherlock Holmes.
Without these powers, I am nothing.
I imagine that, being nothing at all, I might spend my childhood in an ordinary school, then blend into this game-like society, becoming just another nobody…
Ahhh~ Isn’t this the peaceful life I’ve always longed for?
Then why,
why did I board that stupid carriage a few days ago?
Why was I with that elf a few days ago?
Why did I agree to their request a few days ago? And why did we get separated a few days ago?
Why, why!!
If only I hadn’t left that forest!! None of this would have happened!!!
I took deep breaths and then gagged repeatedly, cycling through these actions, hoping the restlessness in my heart would soon subside.
But the self-reflection and reproach didn’t stop.
It all accumulated in my heart, growing steadily larger—
“Ugh! Ugh…”
The scene before my eyes gradually grew hazy and blurred, and my breathing slowly calmed.
Finally, I can sleep soundly…
Finally. My eyes closed, and in that instant, my whole body felt a wave of satisfaction.
Then—
…
…
(Did they finally realize it?)
(Those who get close to me will inevitably meet with misfortune.)
(Everything I touch will eventually crumble and perish.)
(As it has always been.)
(As it is today.)
(But is it too early to retire now?)
Will you continue?
…
…
“Woohoo! We’re finally here. I didn’t expect the mountain roads in Carter to be so steep; the carriage almost tipped over.”
“We’re lucky to be alive. Didn’t you see those goblins shooting arrows at us? If they’d hit the carriage—BOOM!”
“Hey! Don’t talk about such scary things! That gunpowder in the back is pretty rare stuff.”
“Will you ever stop thinking about money and women?”
“I’m not that kind of person. It’s just a necessary feeling after a near-death experience. By the way, could you take inventory of the goods? I’ll go talk to the guards and see if a small ‘fee’ will get us into the city.”
“You’re always like this. Fine, fine— Huh? What’s this? Leather boots, black tights? And… a skirt? A sweater, a cute sleeping face, blue hair… Ugh! This is— this is a girl!”
“Hey! What are you yelling about! Everyone’s staring! Even the guard is giving us weird looks!”
“Bro, you’ve got some really interesting ‘cargo’ in your carriage.”
“Huh? What interesting cargo? It’s just the gunpowder circulating on the market. It’s just relatively scarce here in [Feltero], so I thought I’d make a profit—! This, this… an angel has descended.”
“You’re still acting strange. What should we do?”
“Anyway, back off for now— wait, why is the line suddenly so long!”
“Sigh… no other choice. Let’s just pretend she’s someone’s daughter.”
“That won’t work!”
“Well then, think of a better idea, or I’ll just leave her out here.”
“…You’re really heartless.”
“That’s just good business sense.”
…
“Alright, I tried my best to make her look approachable… but this is still a bit too flashy.”
“I think it looks pretty good, and it suited the situation.”
“So, tell me, what’s with this Gothic Lolita outfit?”
“Yeah, I gave it to him for Halloween last time. I don’t have any friends to give it to, so it’s just been sitting in my backpack. But don’t you think it suits this kid quite well?”
“It’s a good match… Sigh, let’s not talk about that. So, what are you planning to do with her?”
“Huh? Raise her indefinitely?”
“Don’t answer my question with another question!! Cough! There must be a reason this child suddenly appeared on our carriage. Anyway, let’s rest here for a while.”
“That! The room—”
“Two, please.”
…
Breathing, breathing… it’s so hard, I feel like I’m dying.
My chest feels so heavy and tight. Why does it hurt so much?
I opened my eyes, feeling intensely nauseous—
Hah! Hah! What’s wrong with me?!
As if returning to the world of the living from the brink of death, I collapsed onto the bed with a jolt.
Is this “sleep”?! Why is it completely different from what I’ve experienced before?! I used to wake up feeling unsatisfied, but now I don’t want to do it a second time.
How long has it been since I last slept…? Now, I’m not even used to sleeping anymore. Heh, hahaha, uh… uh?
I pinched my throat, patted my head, opened my mouth, and tried to make a sound.
“Ugh…cough! Ugh…cough cough!”
I can’t speak again? Just like a few days ago?
The vocal cords in my throat can still vibrate, but for now, my throat can’t produce accurate sounds… I don’t know why, but I’ve lost my voice again.
I clenched my right hand into my left, then pressed it tightly against my chest to calm my racing heart. It’s a shame; if I could do that so easily, I might have stayed in the [Spirit Forest] forever.
Anyway, what kind of place is this?
An unfamiliar ceiling, an unfamiliar room, but the decor looked vaguely familiar. I knew where I was without even guessing. This self-questioning and answering is really something else. Am I in a tavern? I fell asleep after getting on that carriage.
No, that death-defying, bungee-jumping ecstasy doesn’t count as sleep at all.
I scratched my head anxiously, wincing at myself, wishing for a moment of relief. Then I looked down and paused slightly when I saw the clothes I was wearing. I grabbed the fabric around my stomach and tugged at it, then pushed aside the blanket covering my thighs…
After seeing it clearly, I finally realized what was happening.
…This outfit?! Wait a minute!! What the heck!!
My hands, gripping my clothes, trembled so violently that I jumped to the floor in disbelief.
This dark-toned European-style gown, with its lace, ruffled sleeves, and crosses embroidered throughout, is full of peculiar allure. But it would probably evoke completely different feelings in others!
Who, who changed my sweater? Where’s my original sweater? And—
I unconsciously covered my private areas, my lips almost splitting from shame.
Have I… been seen naked?
Aside from Mrs. Cliroll and myself, no one has ever seen the skin under my sweater. I know perfectly well there’s only a t-shirt under the sweater, no underwear… But for now, the system gave me a pair of women’s underwear at the start.
As I was thinking, I lifted my skirt and took a look.
Whew! That’s a relief, at least the bottom is intact. Wait, what am I cheering for?
I patted my clothes to make sure I had no belongings on me, then went to the door and pressed my ear against it. There was no sound; apparently, no one was home. I gently pushed it open, glancing left and right, then stood on tiptoe, trying to make as little noise as possible.
“Hello? What service do you need?”
The sudden voice startled me, but I couldn’t shout, making my movements look very strange.
