With My Ability To Swap, I Will Never End Up In A Love Triangle Mess - Chapter 58

“You’re awake? Congrats, you’re a girl now~”

What the—?!

Did I just get castrated?!

The moment Xia Xi returned to his own body and opened his eyes, he found a girl looming over him, grinning down with smug satisfaction.

Panicked, he immediately reached down to check.

Phew. Still there. His brother was safe.

“Lin Xuening! What the hell are you doing in my room? And why the hell would you joke like that? You’re lucky I don’t ‘punish’ you right here!”

The girl standing by his bed was none other than Lin Xuening, his class president.

Somehow, she’d sneaked into his room while he was still groggy from waking up and tricked him into thinking he’d turned into a girl. The audacity!

Last he remembered—before swapping into Bai Xiao Cha—she’d been sitting politely on the couch watching TV.

“Go ahead, try it!”

Lin Xuening didn’t back down. She knew Xia Xi didn’t have the guts.

Sure enough, he chickened out instantly, scrambling out of bed and bolting to the bathroom.

“Tch. All bark and no bite,” she muttered, stifling a laugh as she watched him flee.

She lingered for a moment, sitting on the edge of his still-warm bed, running her fingers over the indentation his body had left on the sheets. Then, after a guilty glance around, she slipped back into the living room.

By the time Xia Xi finished freshening up, her cheeks were slightly pink.

“I went grocery shopping earlier… and noticed people were treating me normally again. I think we’ve swapped back for good.”

Xia Xi already knew—after all, it was past 5 PM, and the 24-hour swap limit had long expired. But he played along, feigning relief to avoid suspicion.

“Thank god. I really didn’t want to be stuck as you forever.”

Lin Xuening’s eyes narrowed. She jabbed a finger at his nose.

“Excuse you, Xia Xi! How dare you act like my life’s some kind of downgrade? I’m the one who should be complaining! I didn’t want to be you either!”

She was offended. Back home, she was practically a pampered princess. At school, she was popular, respected—everything Xia Xi wasn’t. Compared to his no-friends, part-time-job grind of a life, hers was clearly superior!

“La la la, not listening~”

Still channeling Bai Xiao Cha’s mannerisms, Xia Xi instinctively covered his ears and shook his head—an absurdly girlish gesture for a guy his size.

“Pfft—!”

Lin Xuening burst out laughing.

The sight of him, a full-grown man, mimicking a cutesy loli was just too much.

Xia Xi snapped back to reality, coughing awkwardly before retaliating with a light chop to her head.

“Laughing at me? Who gave you permission?!”

Lin Xuening clutched her head, her smile vanishing into a pout.

Did I hit her too hard?

Under her wounded puppy-dog stare, Xia Xi faltered. Remembering how Leng Xi Yu comforted Bai Xiao Cha, he hesitantly reached out and patted Lin Xuening’s head.

“You’re still—?”

She flinched, expecting another strike. But instead, a warm hand settled gently on her hair, stroking it with the same tenderness one might use on a cat.

Her mind short-circuited.

H-huh?! Is he… petting me?!

What do I do?! What do I say?! Lin Xuening, SAY SOMETHING! He’s literally patting your head right now!

No one had ever done this to her—not even her parents.

Yet, as if channeling her inner cat (a remnant of her swap experiences?), her body betrayed her, tilting her head upward to lean into his touch.

“Hmph! I-I’m not some kitten! Stop it!”

The words came out far more flustered than intended.

Xia Xi smirked.

The usually domineering class president had been reduced to a blushing mess with just a few head pats. She’d even nuzzled into it for a second before snapping back to reality.

He changed the subject before she could combust.

“Anyway, why’d you buy groceries?”

Lin Xuening rolled her eyes.

“Uh, to cook? Did you fry your brain in your sleep? What else would I do with them?”

“I mean, we could’ve just ordered takeout. And shouldn’t your parents be making dinner? Aren’t you going home?”

She marched to his kitchen, yanking an apron off a hook.

“Not everyone’s a homebody like you. I usually stay in the dorms. And takeout? Half of it’s pre-made slop from sketchy kitchens. Cooking’s safer.”

Oh? So the princess had principles about food hygiene.

Sure, some takeout spots were questionable, but ignorance was bliss. As a certified lazy bum, Xia Xi’s motto was: If it hasn’t killed me yet, it’s fine.

“You can actually cook?”

He eyed her struggling to tie the apron straps.

“Of course I can!”

She’d definitely cooked before.

…Okay, maybe just a handful of times. But how hard could it be? Follow a recipe, dump in the right seasonings—what could go wrong?

“Really now?”

Under his skeptical gaze, she stormed into the kitchen and slammed the door behind her, shouting:

“Just wait for your gourmet meal!”

“So… this is the ‘gourmet meal’?”

Xia Xi’s chopsticks hovered over a plate of unidentifiable black lumps.

“Okay, so the tomatoes and eggs look a little… fused. But I promise it’s delicious!”

Fused was an understatement. There was no trace of golden egg or red tomato—just a charcoal-colored abomination.

“And this?” He pointed at the only dish with discernible shape: segmented, suspiciously aromatic tubes. “What is it?”

Lin Xuening beamed with pride.

“My signature braised intestines! Based on the classic ‘Nine-Turn Delight,’ but I kept a hint of their original flavor for extra authenticity!”

Original flavor.

Xia Xi’s eye twitched.

Did she mean spicy? Salty? Surely not the unwashed taste of—

No. No way.

But compared to the other dishes, this was the least terrifying. Maybe… one bite?

Under Lin Xuening’s eager gaze, he gulped and slowly reached for the “authentic” intestines…