My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 83

Tsk, tsk, tsk… Lin Hai circled the calligraphy on the desk, clicking his tongue in exaggerated admiration.

“What magnificent strokes! A true masterpiece, one for the ages!” He gave the Book Immortal a thumbs-up.

“Hmph, as if I needed you to tell me that. But such a masterpiece… ruined by you!” The Book Immortal snorted, his anger flaring again.

“Oh? How so, Senior? If anything, I think this little touch enhances the piece—like adding the finishing dot to a dragon’s eye,” Lin Hai bluffed shamelessly.

“Nonsense!”

“Don’t believe me? Then take a closer look!” With a dramatic flourish, Lin Hai flicked his sleeve—

Oh crap.

He’d forgotten he was wearing Xian’er’s clothes.

What should have been a suave gesture now made him look like a clown.

“Senior, your calligraphy is bold and powerful, majestic in its sweep—every stroke like iron and silver, sharp and unyielding. It reflects your indomitable will and noble spirit!” Lin Hai rambled on, knowing absolutely nothing about calligraphy.

“Hmph, at least you have some taste.” The Book Immortal preened under the praise.

“However…” Lin Hai shook his head. “Your writing is too unyielding, just like your personality—honest, straightforward, and unflinching. But as they say, the hardest steel breaks easiest.”

“Hah! Exactly! I, the Book Immortal, have always been forthright. No deceit, no tricks—what you see is what you get!” The immortal lifted his chin proudly.

Holy hell, the shamelessness!

Lin Hai was nearly sick. Here he was, spewing nonsense just to stay alive, and this guy was loving it!

“Senior, you misunderstand. True mastery lies in balance—strength and flexibility, vigor and grace. Take this piece, for example. ‘Unyielding Loyalty’ is heroic and grand, yes, but it lacks… warmth.”

“Warmth? Since when does calligraphy need warmth?”

“Exactly—warmth! ‘Unyielding Loyalty’ embodies heroic sacrifice, but what about the softer side? Even heroes have hearts! Without tenderness, the piece feels incomplete. But this touch—” Lin Hai gestured grandly at the page, “—softens the rigidity, blending strength with compassion. Doesn’t that better reflect your noble spirit?”

The Book Immortal frowned, considering. “Hmm… There might be some truth to that.”

Lin Hai’s heart leaped. Finally! Got this idiot hooked. If he had to keep this up, he’d run out of lies.

“Fine. Consider this round passed,” the Book Immortal relented, flicking his sleeve.

Yes!

“So… Senior, does this mean I’ve cleared the third trial?” Lin Hai asked eagerly.

“Trial?” The immortal blinked. “What are you talking about? The trial hasn’t even started yet.”

Pfft—

Lin Hai nearly choked. You’ve gotta be kidding me. All that talk for nothing?!

“I heard you defeated the Zither Demon and the Chess Sage in their own fields. So, what? You think you can challenge me in calligraphy too?” The Book Immortal smirked.

Calligraphy? Hell no!

Lin Hai’s handwriting was barely legible even to himself. No way he was competing in that.

If this guy insists on calligraphy, I’m dead.

Just then, the Book Immortal spoke again.

“Ha! You want to compete in calligraphy? Too bad—I won’t give you the chance! Today’s trial has nothing to do with it. Surprised?” He grinned smugly, as if he’d outwitted Lin Hai.

Surprised? More like thrilled!

Who the hell wants to compete in calligraphy? Only an idiot!

But outwardly, Lin Hai feigned shock, then slumped in exaggerated disappointment.

The Book Immortal’s smirk widened.

“You think you can predict my methods? Today’s trial is—”

Lin Hai tensed. Please don’t make it something I suck at…

“—Guessing the Stone!” The immortal lifted his chin triumphantly.

“Ha! Didn’t see that coming, did you?” He burst into laughter.

Lin Hai’s jaw dropped.

No. Freaking. Way.

You’re deciding my fate with a child’s game?

This is beyond ridiculous.

The Book Immortal picked up a small stone from the ground, placed it on the table, and suddenly—

His hands moved in a blur.

Lin Hai’s eyes couldn’t keep up. The speed was unreal.

Slap! The Book Immortal’s hands smacked down on the table.

“Guess. Tell me which hand holds the stone, and you win.” A sly grin played on his lips.

Crap. I didn’t see a damn thing.

Wait—

I have the Heavenly Eye! How could I forget?!

Lin Hai chanted inwardly: Heavenly Eye—activate!

A blue haze veiled his vision, and suddenly, the Book Immortal’s hands turned transparent.

Yes! It works!

But when Lin Hai looked closer—

What the hell?!

“Time’s ticking. Make your guess,” the Book Immortal taunted.

Guess my ass!

Lin Hai fumed. Trying to outsmart me? I’ll show you.

“Senior, how about you guess first? If you say it’s there, I lose. If you say it’s not, I win. Deal?”

Xian’er gasped. “Master—!”

Lin Hai waved her off.

She stamped her foot in frustration. This new master seemed clever—why is he acting so stupid now?

The stone’s in the Book Immortal’s hand! If he guesses, of course he’ll know where it is! This is basically surrendering!

The Book Immortal blinked, then chuckled. “Are you trying to lose? Making me guess? Just admit defeat already.”

Lin Hai remained calm. “Just guess, Senior. If I lose, I won’t complain.”

“Hmph! I won’t bully a junior. You guess first.”

“No, you guess first.”

“You go.”

“You first.”

“…”

Xian’er stared, baffled. What is happening?

“Enough!” The Book Immortal finally snapped. “I set the rules—you guess first. Refuse, and you forfeit!”

Damn it!

Lin Hai cursed inwardly. This is just cheating!

“Count of ten. No guess? You lose.” The immortal glared.

Fine. Let’s do this.

Lin Hai took a deep breath.

“I guess… left hand!”