My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 62

As soon as Lin Hai woke up, he checked the Heavenly Trade Group as usual, hoping to see if that old man, the Supreme Lao Jun, had returned.

Unfortunately, he was disappointed.

Lao Jun still wasn’t back, and as usual, there were no red packets.

The group’s jokesters seemed to have complaints too.

Erlang Shen: “Lao Jun’s been gone for who knows how long, and no one’s sending red packets anymore.”

Seven Fairies: “Yeah, who knows when he’ll be back? I miss him already.”

Dragon King of the East Sea: “Damn, sounds fishy! @Dong Yong, get out here! Your wife’s running off with someone!”

Seven Fairies: “Stop talking nonsense! Yong-ge has a temper. Be careful, or he’ll storm your Dragon Palace!”

Nezha: “Who’s storming the Dragon Palace? Count me in!”

Dragon King of the East Sea: “@Nezha, don’t even mention storming the Dragon Palace, you little brat!”

Nezha: “@Dragon King of the East Sea, old man, you looking to die? Believe me, I’ll skin your dragon hide right off!”

Dragon King of the East Sea: “@Nezha, you think I’m scared of you? Bring it on!”

Nezha: “@Dragon King of the East Sea, fine. Just you wait.”

Damn, Lin Hai thought. This is getting juicy.

The Dragon King and Nezha were about to throw down.

But the rest of the group seemed completely unfazed, chatting away as if nothing had happened.

A short while later…

Nezha: “Selling millennium-grade dragon scales, dragon meat, dragon blood, dragon tendons, and dragon horns! Freshly butchered, guaranteed quality! DM offers! (Attached: a bloody dragon image)”

Lin Hai’s eyes nearly popped out. Holy crap, Nezha’s insane!

In just a few minutes, he’d actually hunted a dragon.

Dragon King of the East Sea: “@Tower King, are you gonna discipline your damn brat or not?! (Angry emojis)”

Tower King: “@Nezha, don’t let it happen again!”

Pfft—

Lin Hai almost burst out laughing. Weren’t Tower King and Nezha on bad terms? Since when did he start covering for his son?

Meanwhile, in the Heavenly Realm, Tower King was munching on a roasted dragon claw, nodding in satisfaction.

“Mmm, delicious.”

The Dragon King went silent—probably rage-quit.

Taibai Jinxing: “It’s no fun with no one sending red packets.”

Lei Shen: “Why don’t you send one then?”

Taibai Jinxing: “I’m broke! We need a big shot—like @God of Wealth.”

Erlang Shen: “Yeah, @God of Wealth, come out and send a red packet!”

Chang’e: “Agreed! @God of Wealth, send one, handsome!”

Dian Mu (Lightning Mother): “@God of Wealth, waiting for that red packet!”

Soon, the entire chat was flooded with demands for the God of Wealth to send a red packet.

Lin Hai smirked. Fat chance. Every time the God of Wealth sent a red packet, he got nothing but grief. No way he’d show up now.

Sure enough, after a long silence, the God of Wealth remained absent.

The group’s tone shifted.

Sangmen Xing (Jinx Star): “The God of Wealth is a cheapskate. You really think he’ll send a red packet?”

Night Patroller (Yeyou Shen): “Exactly. He’s tighter than a drum. Just give up.”

Chang’e: “The God of Wealth is the stingiest being I’ve ever met.”

Zhu Bajie (Pigsy): “Yep, a certified miser.”

Moli Hai: “@God of Wealth, +1 cheapskate.”

Lei Shen: “@God of Wealth, +2 cheapskate.”

Barefoot Immortal: “@God of Wealth, +3 cheapskate.”

Matchmaker (Yue Lao): “@God of Wealth, +4 cheapskate.”

Lin Hai facepalmed. Great, another formation line.

[System Alert: The God of Wealth, overwhelmed by fury, has vomited blood! Cultivation reduced by 10 years!]

Pfft—

What?! Lin Hai nearly choked laughing.

Hahaha! So the God of Wealth was lurking the whole time, watching these clowns roast him!

Lin Hai couldn’t help but pity the guy. Imagine getting so mad from reading a chat that you lose cultivation. That’s next-level unlucky.

Lei Shen: “Oh crap, he was online the whole time? And still didn’t send a red packet? Ultimate cheapskate!”

Nezha: “@God of Wealth, +1 cheapskate.”

Goddess of the Ninth Heaven: “@God of Wealth, +2 cheapskate.”

“HAHAHAHA!” Lin Hai was losing it.

At this rate, the God of Wealth might grab a kitchen knife and hunt them all down.

Luckily, there was no further news of him vomiting blood—probably rage-logged.

Ding!

A friend request popped up.

Lin Hai checked his contacts.

Holy—Nezha?!

Accept, no question! Nezha was one of his favorite legendary figures.

[System Alert: Your friend list has reached its limit.]

What the hell?

After accepting Nezha, a strange notification appeared.

Lin Hai was confused. WeChat’s limit is 3,000 friends—I don’t even have 300!

He checked his contacts and noticed a new category: “Heavenly Realm.”

Inside were exactly 10 friends:

• Jade Rabbit
• Golden Flower Boy
• Sun Wukong
• Dragon King of the East Sea
• Moli Qing
• Iron Crutch Li
• God of Wealth
• Heavenly Master Zhang
• Supreme Lao Jun
• Nezha

Wait, when did I add Lao Jun? He had no memory of that.

Screw it, let’s test this.

Lin Hai sent a random friend request to a nearby user.

Soon:

“Lonely Cutie has accepted your request. Start chatting now!”

Huh? So I can still add normal people.

Then… is the limit just for Heavenly friends?

He tried sending a request to Chang’e.

[System Alert: Your friend list is full. Unable to add.]

Dammit!

So he could only have 10 Heavenly friends total. That made each slot incredibly valuable.

No wasting them!

He opened the Heavenly group and pondered.

Maybe delete the Dragon King? We never talk anyway.

He tapped Delete.

[System Alert: Heavenly friends cannot be removed.]

Son of a—!

Just then, Nezha messaged him.

Nezha: “Hey, want some Dragon Scale Armor?”

Dragon Scale Armor? What’s that?

Lin Hai quickly asked for details.

Nezha: “Remember that dragon I just killed? Everything else sold out, but I still have one scale left. I weaved it with dragon tendons into armor—immune to anything below divine weapons.”

Damn, that’s OP!

Little Confused Immortal (Lin Hai): “How much?”

Nezha: “10,000 Merit Points.”

Oof. Lin Hai only had 10,100.

Little Confused Immortal: “That’s expensive.”

Nezha: “Not at all! My dad beat me after eating the dragon claw and banned me from ever killing dragons again. So this might be the last one!”

Wait, really?

Lin Hai hesitated. Dragon Scale Armor… if Nezha’s serious, this could be a collector’s item.

Screw it, I’ll buy it. I can always earn more Merit Points by doing good deeds.

Little Confused Immortal: “Fine, sold.”

[You transferred 10,000 Merit Points to Nezha.]

Nezha: “Got it! Sending now.”

[Nezha has sent you Dragon Scale Armor.]

Haha! Lin Hai was thrilled. Who in the mortal world has even seen a dragon?

But me? I’m wearing armor made from one!

Excited, he opened his WeChat inventory and clicked Extract.

Pfft—

The moment he saw the so-called “Dragon Scale Armor,” his face darkened.

Nezha, you little—! I WANT A REFUND!!!