My Amazing WeChat is Connected to the Three Realms - Chapter 51

Lin Hai waited, eyes squeezed shut, expecting to feel cold fingers wrap around his throat.

But nothing happened.

Cracking one eye open, he saw the female Black Impermanence—a ghostly enforcer of the underworld—frozen mid-lunge, her claw-like hand hovering just two centimeters from his neck. A shimmering barrier of light blocked her advance, no matter how fiercely she pushed.

“Huh? That pocket-sized peachwood sword actually works?” Lin Hai nearly laughed in relief. Maybe that shady Taoist priest Zhang Tianshi hadn’t completely ripped him off.

Chu Liner, thwarted twice now, snarled in frustration.

“Die already!” She retracted her hand and aimed a vicious kick straight for his groin.

“Holy shit—nutcracker strike!” Lin Hai yelped, bending backward like a shrimp to shield his family jewels. But her speed was inhuman—literally.

As her boot sailed toward its target, Lin Hai’s soul nearly left his body. He could practically hear the impending crunch.

“Bzzzt!”

Another flash of light deflected the blow.

“HA! Suck it, ghost lady!” Lin Hai whooped, mentally kissing Zhang Tianshi’s wrinkly face.

Fuming, Chu Liner switched tactics, raking her claws toward his chest.

“Oh hell no—Dragon Claw Titty Twister?!”

Realizing her attacks couldn’t touch him, Lin Hai’s fear evaporated. “Two can play at this game!”

He retaliated with an identical move.

Silence.

Chu Liner’s mind blanked.

Lin Hai stared at his own hand in horror.

“AAAAAAAAH!” They screamed in unison.

The ghost girl vanished like smoke.

“I… just copped a feel from the Grim Reaper’s hot sister?” Lin Hai examined his palm, torn between regret and awe. “Though damn, she was fine. Like, supernatural supermodel fine. Should’ve held on longer…”

Nearby, surgeons exchanged glances.

“Director, this guy’s definitely mentally ill, right?”

“Clearly. No sane person talks to air and gropes invisible things.”

Lin Hai flipped them off. “You’re the weirdos!”

Stepping outside, Lin Hai found soldiers swarming him. “How’s Captain Xiao?!”

“He’ll live.”

Tears of relief flowed. One soldier—the one whose arm Lin Hai had dislocated earlier—stood rigid, sweat-drenched but silent.

“Damn. Hardcore.” Impressed, Lin Hai popped the man’s joint back in place.

“Thanks. Rematch later,” the soldier grunted through gritted teeth.

“Pass. I’ve had enough action today.”

Back in Elder Xiao’s room, the old man’s eyes burned with unspoken fear.

“Your grandson’s safe,” Lin Hai announced.

“Truly?!”

A doctor confirmed: “Director Zhang’s removing the bullet now. Thanks to Mr. Lin’s intervention.”

Elder Xiao clasped Lin Hai’s hands. “How can I ever repay you?”

“No need. Your family serves our nation. Honoring heroes is everyone’s duty.”

“Well said!” The old man slammed the table, eyes glistening. “A nation that forgets its heroes is sick at heart. These days, our people…” He trailed off, melancholy.

Lin Hai changed the subject. Spotting no gift shops nearby, he hatched a plan.

“Be right back.” Ducking into the restroom, he summoned the gourd of Monkey King’s Wine—a celestial brew gifted by Sun Wukong himself.

Returning, he presented it. “A humble offering for your health, Elder Xiao.”

“Why’d you bring alcohol from the toilet?”

“PFFT— No! It was in my bag!” Lin Hai choked.

Just as Elder Xiao uncorked the gourd, releasing an aroma that made gods weep, a female officer stormed in.

“Grandpa! No alcohol!”

Lin Hai’s jaw dropped.

She was stunning—all sharp angles and military precision, like a sword sheathed in uniform.

“Eyes to yourself!” She glared before snatching the gourd. “This looks like back-alley moonshine!”

“Excuse you, Princess Bossy,” Lin Hai shot back. “That ‘moonshine’ boosts qi, enriches blood, and adds years to your life. Rare as unicorn tears.”

“Oh please. Who even are you?”

“The man who saved your brother’s life,” an aide interjected.

Her scoff died mid-breath. Before she could process this, Elder Xiao took a defiant swig—

—and his eyes blazed.

“This… is ambrosia.”