Live Broadcast: My Blunt TCM Practice and My Patients Are Dying Online - Chapter 34

“Huh?”

Qin Jiang was caught off guard by Guo Long’s question.

One moment, Guo Long was reigniting his will to live, and the next, he was asking if Qin Jiang specialized in andrology. The shift was a bit sudden.

Qin Jiang looked at Guo Long with a strange expression.

Kid, is your motivation for living all about that?
Seeing Qin Jiang’s look, Guo Long knew he was misunderstood.

Guo Long quickly explained, “It’s like this, Dr. Qin… down there… I think I have cancer. I’ve been to many hospitals, but none could diagnose what exactly is wrong.”

“Later, I went to a men’s health hospital. To prevent the cancer cells from spreading, the doctor removed one of my testicles.”

“I thought getting it removed would fix the problem, but who knew it would recur in less than six months.”

“I only have one ball left now, and I want to keep it. Dr. Qin, do you have any way to help me treat it?”

Qin Jiang listened, stunned.

Cancer down there?

Testicular cancer?

From Guo Long’s description, that seemed like the only possibility.

But with his current medical skills, if it really was cancer, he could at most control it, not cure it completely.

“That can’t be right. I checked your pulse earlier and didn’t detect any abnormalities.”

Qin Jiang had indeed detected through the pulse that Guo Long had deficiencies in kidney essence. He just hadn’t expected this guy to have a kidney removed first, then a testicle – he was really ruthless!

Seeing Qin Jiang’s disbelief, Guo Long took out his test reports from other hospitals and some close-up photos of the area, handing them to Qin Jiang.

The more Qin Jiang looked at the photos, the stranger he found it.

All the tests showed no signs of testicular cancer cells, but judging from the photos, there was indeed a large purplish-black mark on the outside, which looked terrifying!

And this purplish-black mark had been gradually expanding over time.

No wonder Guo Long had eventually opted for surgery.

If that purplish-black mark spread to the entire groin area, it would be hopeless.

Qin Jiang frowned and asked, “If, as you say, your other testicle has also turned black, why not just remove it directly? You’re still single anyway, so it’s not like you’re using it.”

When Qin Jiang said this, the live stream audience burst out laughing.

“Holy crap, listen to that! Is that even something a person says?”
“Other doctors have a heart of compassion; Dr. Qin has a human face but the heart of a beast.”
“Having one ball left is a bit scant, but at least it’s still somewhat usable.”

Guo Long also felt awkward, forcing a weak smile.
“Dr. Qin, please don’t joke with me. I really don’t want to become a eunuch.”

Qin Jiang pointed to the nearby examination bed.
“Alright then. In that case, go lie down there, take off your pants, and let me see what’s really going on.”

Photos were just photos. To identify the root cause, he needed to see it with his own eyes.

Qin Jiang had Guo Long lie down, drew the curtain, and began his examination.

Sure enough, the area below Guo Long’s waist looked just like in the photos, with a large purplish-black patch.

Seeing it himself, Guo Long panicked.
“This patch wasn’t this big this morning! How did it get bigger again!”
“It’s over, it’s over! Dr. Qin, am I completely hopeless?”

Qin Jiang grunted in agreement. “Indeed, hopeless.”
“Alright, put your pants back on. I know what’s going on now.”

Hearing that he was hopeless, Guo Long’s face turned ashen.

Following Qin Jiang back to the consultation desk, Qin Jiang pointed to the QR code on the table.
“Scan to pay first. The total is six hundred yuan.”

Hearing this, Guo Long felt even more despair.

Such a cheap consultation fee – what did that mean?
It meant there was no need for any expensive medicine, meaning his condition was beyond help with medication!

Guo Long’s hand trembled as he scanned the code and paid. A prompt sounded in Qin Jiang’s mind.

Ding!
[Detected that the host spoke frankly to the patient, clearly stating the patient’s private ailment, greatly assisting the patient. Task completed.]
[Congratulations to the host for receiving the reward: Divine Burn Ointment!]

Huh?
Divine Burn Ointment?
What kind of reward is this? Does it mean my next patient will have a burn-related issue?

While Qin Jiang was still pondering, Guo Long spoke up and asked, “Dr. Qin, you said it’s incurable, that medicine won’t help. If I go and get the other one removed, is there any hope then?”

Guo Long’s question brought Qin Jiang back to reality.

Qin Jiang was momentarily stunned, then said, “Who said you have an incurable disease?”

Guo Long’s eyes widened.
“Didn’t you say I was hopeless?”
“Oh, don’t misunderstand. I meant you’re hopelessly stupid.”
“But you didn’t prescribe me any medicine.”
“That’s because you don’t have a disease. No medicine is needed.”

Qin Jiang said with a completely serious expression, “I already told you before, your body is very healthy. You could easily live another twenty or thirty years, barring any accidents.”

Guo Long was confused.
“Then why is it purple and black down there?”

Qin Jiang replied very calmly, “That’s because your underwear is color-fast. Just go home and change to a pair of better quality underwear.”

Liu Yan: “…”

Guo Long: “…”

Audience: “…”

Guo Long’s voice trembled as he asked, shakily, “Dr. Qin, are you saying… this isn’t some incurable disease, it’s not cancer… it’s just my underwear dye running?”

“Correct. You could just rub it with your hand and see, couldn’t you?”

Qin Jiang even put on a stern face, speaking very seriously, “However, color-fast underwear isn’t a trivial matter either. The dye running indicates the underwear is of poor quality, which can easily cause allergies or fungal infections.”

“Don’t be so cheap when you go back. Buy some good quality underwear. You only have one ball left; be nicer to yourself.”

Ah!
It was just underwear dye!
And because of that, I had one of my testicles removed!

Guo Long broke down completely at this point. He covered his head, shouting and screaming.

Qin Jiang, as if he had anticipated this, took out a pair of earplugs he had prepared earlier and put them in.

In the live stream, the audience was in stitches.

“Hahaha, I’m dying! I never would have guessed it was just underwear dye!”
“To be honest, when Dr. Qin was examining him earlier, I even looked it up online. The search results also pointed to testicular cancer. Never imagined it was underwear dye.”
“Bro, you might as well ask me instead of searching online. At least I’d tell you to stay positive.”
“Out of ten people searching online, nine find cancer; the tenth is already buried.”
“This guy is really tragic. Losing a ball because of underwear dye. Next time someone says Western medicine is unbeatable, I’ll hit them with this story.”

Guo Long wept bitterly, filled with immense regret.

Seeing that Guo Long wouldn’t snap out of it anytime soon, Qin Jiang pointed to a stool nearby.
“Go sit over there. Leave after you’ve processed this. Don’t do anything foolish.”

As soon as Qin Jiang finished speaking, a man in a gray suit, accompanied by a team of professional photographers, walked into the clinic.

Both Qin Jiang and Liu Yan were stunned.

What’s going on?
Here to cause trouble?

Before Qin Jiang could ask, a man stepped forward to explain.
“Hello, Dr. Qin. I’m Gao Yang, a reporter from the City Evening News. We’ve heard about your superb medical skills and would like to ask you to take a look at this gentleman.”

Qin Jiang grunted in understanding. So, not here to cause trouble.
“What’s his condition?”

Gao Yang explained, “This gentleman can’t feel the heat when drinking boiling water.”