Live Broadcast: My Blunt TCM Practice and My Patients Are Dying Online - Chapter 12

“Brothers, I think I know what this medicine is… it’s Ren Zhong Huang!”

“Holy crap, that’s brutal! The streamer is really not human!”

“Look, he’s even making the patient clean the bamboo tube herself and take out the Ren Zhong Huang to eat. He’s a complete monster!”

Ren Zhong Huang—a famous traditional Chinese medicine. Its heat-clearing and fire-purging effects are indeed very potent.

Under Qin Jiang’s guidance, Zheng Chunmei took one bite of the Ren Zhong Huang, followed by one sip of the herbal soup. The key was she couldn’t vomit; if she did, the medicine would lose its effect.

The camera team watched, their faces pale.

If this was the treatment they had to undergo, they’d rather just die!

After finally managing to drink all the medicinal soup, Zheng Chunmei felt half her life had already left her.

“Doctor, am I all better now?”

Qin Jiang pointed to the QR code on the table.

“You still owe three thousand for the consultation fee. Scan the code, then go home, take a bath, rest early, and you’ll be fine by tomorrow.”

“But I really feel like throwing up now.”

“Hold it in. Go home and throw up in the toilet.”

Damn, so ruthless!
Zheng Chunmei could barely hold it in anymore. She quickly scanned the code to pay, covered her mouth, and ran out of the clinic.

Cha-ching!

Alipay received: three thousand yuan!
Watching the balance in his Alipay account grow, Qin Jiang smiled with great satisfaction.

Being a traditional Chinese doctor is really profitable!

At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before he could buy an apartment in Jincheng!

Ding!
[System detected host was direct and honest with the patient, revealing the patient’s underlying condition, greatly assisting the patient. Task complete.]

[Congratulations to the host for receiving the reward: Divine Bone-Setting Technique!]

Qin Jiang, who was drinking tea, was overjoyed.

Bone-setting technique!
Not bad, not bad! This is a good thing!
Young people these days have terrible posture, both standing and sitting—it’s perfectly normal for their bones to be misaligned.

With this Divine Bone-Setting Technique, he could generate more income!
Just as Qin Jiang was thinking this, a pleading voice came from the doorway.

“Doctor, please help take a look at us. We threw our backs out.”

Qin Jiang looked up and immediately spat out his tea.

A couple was shuffling slowly inside from outside, moving like strange creatures.

The man had his chest puffed out and his head held high, facing the sky with a defiant air.

The woman was hunched over, her legs splayed out like a crab’s, crying out in pain with every step.

Their bizarre postures also drew complained from the live stream fans.

“Whoa, Hua Wen and Hua Wu?” (a reference to two comically clumsy characters)

“Bro, now that you mention it, they really do look like them!”

“Guess-the-illness prize round, everyone! Take a guess at what’s wrong with them?”

“Dwarfism!”

“Chondrosis!”

“Strange species!”

Not a single one of the live stream fans was being serious.

Seeing the state they were in, Qin Jiang didn’t dare rush over to help them, as he didn’t know exactly where they were injured.

It took them a full five minutes to shuffle from the doorway to the massage room.

Qin Jiang couldn’t even imagine how long it had taken them to get from their home to this clinic.

“How on earth did this happen?”

Hearing Qin Jiang’s question, the man explained, “We’re both dancers. We were rehearsing a dance at home, but we slipped accidentally, and… well, we ended up like this.”

Qin Jiang looked skeptical.

“Really?”

The man seemed a bit guilty. “Y…yes.”

“Alright. Tell me your names for registration.”

“I’m Chen Xing, and my girlfriend is Wang Xuan.”

Qin Jiang took out paper and a pen, opening a case file for each of them.

After filling in their basic information, Qin Jiang put on gloves and asked, “Who should I see first?”
“See my girlfriend first, I can hold on.”

Chen Xing gritted his teeth; it was clear he was in a lot of pain too.

“Okay, then we’ll see your girlfriend first.”

Qin Jiang walked over to Wang Xuan and observed her posture carefully.

In an instant, the structure of Wang Xuan’s bones, meridians, and muscle distribution was laid bare before Qin Jiang’s eyes.

X-ray vision?

Qin Jiang was surprised.

He hadn’t expected his observational skills (wang shu) to have this function!

But with the help of this enhanced observation, Qin Jiang quickly figured out what was really going on.

He wasn’t in a rush to treat her. Instead, with a strange expression, he asked, “Were you really rehearsing a dance at home?”

Wang Xuan, her face red, nodded.

“The splits, backbends, high kicks?”

They both looked at Qin Jiang as if they’d seen a ghost.

How did this doctor know what moves they were doing?
Qin Jiang sighed. “This is a clinic. I’m a doctor, you’re patients. Let me ask you one last time: did you really get these injuries from dancing?”

Finally, they realized Qin Jiang was no ordinary doctor.

Wang Xuan, blushing, was too embarrassed to speak. Chen Xing, gritting his teeth, said, “Doctor, we really were doing difficult moves, and that’s how we ended up like this. Please stop asking questions and just treat us.”

“Nonsense!”

Qin Jiang said with a completely serious face, “If I don’t get a clear understanding of your situation, what if something goes wrong during treatment?”

Chen Xing looked like he was about to cry.

“It’s just a sprained back. What could possibly go wrong? Doctor, please hurry up.”

Qin Jiang asked, “Were you wearing clothes when you were doing those difficult moves?”

They both froze, not knowing how to answer.

Wang Xuan lowered her head as much as possible, wishing she could find a hole to crawl into.

“If you were exposed to wind or cold when you got injured, then this isn’t just a simple sprain.”

“We’d need to dispel dampness and cold first before I can set your bones.”

That… sort of made sense.

Chen Xing stammered, “W…we were wearing clothes. Just… not very much.”

Qin Jiang pressed further, “How little? Were you just wearing a tie?”

Chen Xing covered his face, not daring to answer.

How did the doctor know!
Well, Christmas was coming up, they both happened to be on vacation at home, and they both happened to be dancers…

The mood was right, they had the skills, so naturally, they wanted to try unlocking some more challenging positions.

Who knew that one lapse in attention would leave them both injured.

“I have to admire your dedication. Injured like this and you still managed to get dressed properly. Pretty impressive.”

Qin Jiang pressed his hand against Wang Xuan’s lower back. She immediately cried out in pain.

“Alright, now that I understand your situation, this will be straightforward. Young people, why not just stick to the normal difficulty level?”

As soon as Qin Jiang said this, the live stream audience immediately understood.

“It’s good to date a dancer; you can unlock so many new tricks.”

“Sounds like ‘the toad marries the frog—ugly looking, but plays fancy games.'” (A Chinese idiom meaning someone plain-looking but with extravagant/unconventional tastes or behaviors)

“It makes me miss my ex-girlfriend. She was a dancer too. Gotta say, it was pretty great.”

“Bro, elaborate on the dancing.”

Back in the clinic, Qin Jiang had Wang Xuan lie face down on the bed. He then placed both hands on her lower back.

Before Qin Jiang even began to apply pressure, Wang Xuan was already in pain.

Seeing his posture, her face turned pale with fear.

“Doctor, you’re not planning to just push directly, are you? You’ll break my back!”